I don't know why, but it seems like when you are with kids, you tend to attract more attention than usual, and with that attention comes unsolicited advice on how to manage the kid.
When I brought my 2-mth old out in a carrier with legs crossed inside (coz too short to dangle out) to the clinic, this auntie with her grandchild kept trying to tell me cannot, why put legs inside. I ignored her but she still kept on commenting until her daughter told her to keep quiet. Then there are some who ask me baby not hot inside meh? When baby cries, these busybodies will tell me baby hungry, and i will immed shoot them a reply "he just finished his milk" (which is usually true), then they try to offer other advice, oh he's cold, he's sleepy etc. In my mind, I will be asking "what does it have to do with you? kpo! " But of course I usually just smile and move away from them.
I was at a friend's place recently. One of her guests carried my baby without my permission. Ok, fine, I'm not that protective over who carries him. Then she tried to help feed him milk. Problem was, he's in a unfamiliar place, carried and fed by someone unfamiliar. So he wasn't too keen on his milk, drinking very slowly even though it's milk time. That's when this guest took the bottle out, stared hard at the bottle teat and asked me what size it is. Newborn size? I said no, it's the next size. She stared hard again, called her husband over and told him to see the teat size. He said, oh, it's too small, use pin to enlarge the hole. At that point, I gave a fake smile, controlling my tongue before it could lash out at them. "Did I ask you for your advice? You may be parents of 2, but that doesn't make you experts of childcaring! And for your info, my baby can finish his bottle of milk within 10mins without effort in suckling. Do you want my baby to choke on a faster flow of milk? He likes it slow, ok? Now please return my baby and his bottle back to me. And please mind your own business in future!"
I kept my mouth shut out of respect for my friend although I did tell the busybody that my baby doesn't take long to finish his milk. I avoided eye contact with her for rest of the visiting. Not long later, she asked me where to get the storybooks I brought along for my girl. Well, I know the source but I was too pissed off to share the information. So I acted blur. Yes, I'm selfish and petty. But I think being such a busybody, she will be able to dig out the source herself one day since she's such a Ms Know-it-All.
Then there's the incident with my sis-in-law. My toddler was throwing one of her usual tantrums and I chose to ignore her. So my sis-in-law quickly took out chocolates to try pacify my girl while my mother-in-law filled her in on what caused the tantrum. I told her no chocolates. I'm not sure if she didn't hear it or chose not to listen but still tried to give my girl chocolate. My crying girl quickly came to me without taking it. Then my sis-in-law came up and gave her a packet of cold drink. I told her no cold drinks and carried my girl away to the main door. My intention was for her to calm down and bring her out of the house for a walk. Once again this busybody came up and tried to carry my crying girl. I finally told her "please do not interfere when I'm discipling my child" then she backed off.
From what I heard from my hubby later, he did tell his parents and 2 sisters not to go over when I was staring at my crying girl coz our method is to let her cry it out. But well, this sister simply had to be the super caring auntie to try pacify my girl and ignored all of us. My father-in-law was supportive of what I did but my mum felt I was too harsh, said we are relatives after all. So, does that mean she's a relative, then she's entitled to reward my girl's tantrums with chocolates, cold drinks and carrying her around? Anyway the next day this sister was ok, no hard feelings. I did feel rather awkward coz while I do not see anything wrong with what I said to her, I admit I could have said it in a nicer tone. Oh well, hope she learns her lesson and be less of a busybody next time.
As a mum of 2 and caring for the kids myself personally 24/7 without help, I think I know a fair bit on how to take care of a toddler and a baby. But I'm no expert here. What I know and do applies to my own children. It may not necessarily apply to other kids. Everyday I'm learning new things on motherhood and parenting. When I see other mums doing things I don't exactly agree with, I usually keep my mouth shut unless they ask me what I'd do in a similar situation. Or I try to share my ideas in a diplomatic way. You can share information on caregiving and parenting, but don't impose your ideas on others. And don't act like you know it all because though you said it out of goodwill, it may come across as you being proud and busybody.
