Updates

Been working at BP Spore as temp for past 3 days. Location is a little far, so have to wake up at 630 to go to work. I like the environment there. Very good staff welfare. Free fruits everyday, lots of instant cup/bowl noodles, chocolate, ice-cream, milk, soft drinks etc... all for free!! Job is a little "brainless", but this being a temp job, i won't complain much lah... I'm quite lucky to have a very nice chatty lady teaching me. We often spend our free time toking cock, surf net etc... nobody bothers... There was a "site inspection" to see Hilton hotel's rooms. My whole dept went down & we had a free seafood buffet lunch! Think i'm very lucky when it comes to free meals... had free meals when i was working at Tempstaff too!

I had a call from the Jerk recently. I was surprised to hear from him... didn't expect him to call. I didn't tell him off not to call me again, but sort of entertained his call a little. However i was very cold to him ~ just answer his qns & dun offer any more info. Just very quiet & sianz when toking to him. He tried to ask me out one of these days for dinner, but i told him i'd prob be bz with training for the Expo job (actually bluff wan lah!!). I'd just continue coming up with excuses to avoid meeting him, be cold to him over phone... hope he gets the message and leave me alone. It's time that i show him that i'm serious about having a clean break. He didn't treat me as a friend, why should i bother with him?

Before i took up the Aichi job, i was a little troubled... coz i still wanted to teach. So i "talked to" Xiaolin via email, asked Pris & Jaycee as well. My 2 jie-meis of course beri supportive & told me to go for it. Xiaolin on the other hand, displayed his usual style of encouraging indirectly. I wonder if this is the typical Japanese way of doing things. Subtle opinions, subtle encouragement. And i shocked all 3 of them by announcing that i've quit my perm job at Tempstaff just after 4 days of work. Think that's the most drastic decision i've ever made... I think i'm crazy to have done that, but i'm happy with my decision :)

And bec i'm going to Japan in March, it doesn't make sense for me to go to Japan in Feb. So there goes my GLAY concert *sob sob*. I've put up their posters at home, and is now waiting for the concert DVDs to arrive. Think it's better for me to concentrate my "love" on GLAY while waiting for Mr Right to come along if he does exists.

I wrote to Eve to update her on my plans. Poor gal must have been shocked by the sudden change of plans over my side. And I'm also surprised by the change in her... She replied with her job dilemmas & plans, some of which is unexpected of her in terms of job options. But i guess the desire to stay on in Japan with her bf made her look past her own interests. Well, i gave her my own opinions, sort of tried to "wake her up", but the final decision is still hers. Now that i re-read the letter i wrote her, i wonder if i've been too harsh to her... sighz...

Think i'm quite hopeless when it comes to studies. Skipped my Jap class on Sat to go shopping with Jaycee at Harbourfront & Chinatown. Just so sianz with lessons now. Harbourfront is boring, nothing much to shop. Met up with Peipei (Jaycee & Pris' frd, now my frd too!), then we went to Chinatown. Wah, over there was really "people mountain people sea" ~ CROWDED! I didn't buy much coz i think there's still some snacks at home. The 2 gals was bz shopping for new year goodies & deco. And guess wat? We met our nus frd (Leroy) over there! so qiao :) Feel happy for him when he told us he's teaching PE now. That's what he really wants to do. Apparently his job application to become a teacher was rejected a few times...

Today my sis went to the temple with her frd. Initially i told her to help me "qiu qian" to ask about my "yingyuan", but decided against it coz scared if it's a bad lot I'd be upset. And if it's a good lot, i'd end up antipicating & be even sadder if it turns out otherwise. But she went ahead with it anyway. And guess what? 3 times she drew the lots, all 3 times the lot wasn't meant for me. So she gave up. Nagged that i should do it myself. But u see, i find it hard to pray now coz my faith's no longer there... but yet i believe in all these superstitutions & lots... i guess it's a way of keeping my hope there... for miracles to happen...

Aichi World Expo!

I'm SO EXCITED about the Aichi World Expo!! I thought thru it the whole night... I've made my decision to take up the job then, but needed more support for my decision. So after encouragement from friends this morning, i wrote to the interviewer to indicate my interest. I've been offered the job "in principle" coz he needs to get the approval of the project director. I'm very happy with my decision... tho it means giving up something else i've been looking forward to ~ the Asst Lang Teacher job in Japan.

After quitting the job at Tempstaff, i thot i'd be idling at home for a while coz i can only take up temp jobs of 1 month + only... my ex-colleague offered to help me find lobang, and one agency contacted me to go for interview... but i felt too sianz to go... However i am really bored at home, so decided to try my luck asking a friend who's working at recruitment agency for lobang. Can't believe how lucky i am! She has an assignment starting tomorrow. Location isn't too far. Pay's ok even tho it's hourly rate ~ at least i earn some $$ instead of rotting at home. And i don't even have to go for interview!

Let's see what else i did for the rest of the day... finished up my Singlish translation to Japanese. Don't even know the exact meaning of "Terok lah you" and had to ask Jaycee for help. We had fun coming up with example sentences coz they are either too cheem for a Japanese, or it's too sarcastic... hahaha... Wrote my notes for the CNY cards, went to laminate my GLAY posters, chatted with Liyuen & Jessica.

Had a brief chat with Liyuen today. She's also excited that i'd be at the Expo as well. We were wondering if we could stay together :) Then we tok abt nuahing at home etc... the usual... hahaa... really miss her! Jessica is also nuahing at home, searching for job. We talked about our Feb plans to go to Japan ~ she's going to watch her Kinki Kids concert while i wana watch GLAYs' concert. But we decided against it coz the cost is too high... I just hope that i have the chance to go to GLAY's concert again this year when i'm in Japan...

Job Dilemmas

I tendered my resignation today. Today's my last day at work. Just when i thot i can take a break b4 getting troubled over job woes, i landed into another job dilemma almost immediately. Went home at 2pm, received an email from Pico Art regarding the Aichi Expo assignment. 2 hrs later i'm off for an interview at Pico Art! Aichi Expo assignment...

I had missed the interview by Japan's side in Sept last yr. I missed the recruitment talk S'pore's side did in Nov & Dec. Now I finally get the chance to be interviewed for it! I'm very excited about the job, even tho it's just a 7-months assignment. I'd be based in Aichi, working as "guide" at the Spore pavilion at the event. They are targeting 17,000 visitors per day. 17,000!!! The exposure i get there... it's much more valuable than 7 months of HR experience in Spore. However the pay is peanuts... and killer working hours... And I'd have to give up my application for the teaching job in Japan coz the dates clash.

Sigh... i really want to be a teacher for a while... fulfill my "childhood" dreams... & also live in Hokkaido... but this Aichi Expo is a one-in-a-lifetime chance... Should i take it up? Should i not? My parents are neutral, tho Dad felt the pay's pathetic. My bro has no comments. My sis knows my heart is on Aichi Expo. So do my friends. I mean, if i wasn't keen, why would i have applied 3 times for it?! I know already what's my decision on this... just need some support for it...

Final Decision

After much consideration, I've decided to tender my resignation after all. Nobody is supportive of my decision. Many encouraged me to stay on for a while more...saying I might grow to like the job. Some told to stay till I find another job. To many, the thought of quitting a perm job just after one week is unacceptable & shocking. I know how they feel... if i were in their shoes, i'd feel the same...

I've my reasons. Since i know this is not the industry i wish to be in, that i really want to build up my career in HR (generalist role), I do not wish to waste anybody's time & resources by staying on here. Can u imagine dragging yourself to work everyday, feeling indifferent / just sianz towards what you do at work? This is what i feel at work now. No doubt i've great colleagues, the environment is nice, there're things to learn there... but all these are not enough to keep my fire burning. Without a passion for what I am doing, I wouldn't be able to perform well...

I feel it's better for me to leave early before things progress any further... I do not wish to waste my colleagues' time in teaching me, nor waste the Company's resources on me. It was my mistake to take up the job offer & i do not wish to let this mistake go on. I was too blinded by the opportunity to use Japanese at work, to work with Japanese colleagues, to experience the Japanese office culture & try a different job scope. And i was too eager to get a job then... I was too rash in my decision... causing all the trouble now...

After I made up my mind this morning, i felt happier... as if a burden's off. Submitted application to jobs online, went shopping... but after i printed out my resignation letter, i feel very troubled again. I really do not know how to face everyone in the office tomorrow, how to spend the 9 hours at work...

Quit?

I'm shocked by my lack of interest for my new job, and I'm only 3.5 days into it! I had thot of quitting on Day 2 ~ it just isn't what I'm looking for. No doubt it's a good learning ground, esp. in the use of Japanese language, but I simply can't feel any passion for what I am doing. Maybe I'm still too new into the job to understand exactly the “joys” of the job, but I already have a brief idea of what's it all about…Personnel consultant ~ sounds good huh?

My boss & colleagues kept selling to me the ideology that what we are doing isn't sales, not “selling” candidates to clients. Rather, we are helping people to find a job, helping clients to find employees. It sounds so good…as if we are contributing to the society, to the economy. Oh come on, no matter how good it sounds, it's still sales! I've been told that the boss doesn't bother with what we do at work, as long as we generate sales. There's no commission for sales. Our variable bonus will be tied to our sales instead. So you see ~ it's still a sales job after all…I knew right from the beginning that it's like this, but I wanted to give it a try, coz I'd be based at the local Japanese-speaking department. This means I'd be able to use Japanese at work. This is also a great opportunity to work with Japanese in an office environment & experience the Japanese working culture. As I do enjoy doing recruitment, this seemed like the perfect job. But after I started on the job, I realize that I really loved my previous job as a HR administrator.

Internal HR is really what I like doing. HR personnel are often the most “disliked” staff in a company, coz we know too much, and we are the ones who enforce rules ~ like an “Office police”. Yet our job allows us to be of support to employees occasionally. I especially like the part on building a relationship with the employees. I can do that with the candidates & client representatives for the consultant job too, but the feeling is different. There are so many candidates & the client representatives changes all the time, how to build a relationship? And we hardly meet as well. And I’m not surprised that at the end of the day, I just don’t want to have anything to do with neither of them & I become indifferent to everyone…

I miss those “tok cock” sessions I had with the technicians & office staff at my previous job. And I liked the multi-tasking environment tho it drove me nutz sometimes. There's no guarantee that the next HR job that I get will give me a similar environment that I was used to, but at least if I can do something I like, it should be ok I guess…

Another point that I realize why I'm not too keen on the consulting job is the lack of control I have over things. Being the middle person, I have no control over whether the candidate accepts the job, no control whether the client wants to hire the candidate. There's so much uncertainty, it just drives me crazy! And half the time I'd have to follow up on candidates/clients on progress ~ it just gets confusing after a while. This job's requirement/process is quite straight forward, build a database of candidates, source for candidates when orders come in, send to clients, arrange interviews if required, follow-up. If offered, do the negotiation. If not, re-do the process again. It becomes routine after a while tho the people we deal with changes.

I've spoken to the local senior consultant on my lack of interest on the job. She's very understanding, and encouraged me to stay on for a while more before I make a decision. However given my character, once I know that this isn't what I wish to do, I won't be able to commit to my job, esp. I know I won't be staying here for long. Poor job performance not only reflects badly on me, it affects the company's image as well. I prefer to leave early ~ no point wasting everyone's time & company resources.

Another reason why I wish to leave is the lack of chemistry between me & the Jap senior consultant that I'm partnering with. There're only 2 of us in the department. There's bound to be competition in future, esp. since candidates are limited for the orders we receive. She's a very nice lady, but I simply can't connect with her. It'd be difficult for us to work together. Such problems occur in all jobs… and it's just one of the many reasons why I'm dissatisfied at work.

I've spoken to my sister about it. She gave me the same advice I gave her previously: “If you are unhappy with what u are doing, leave. No point wasting your time & effort.” Told my friends I've no passion for my job… first they were surprised that I took up that job since they know I'm more into HR, next they felt that I've yet to settle down in Singapore fully. They are unaware that I plan to quit. Told my ex-neighbor in Japan who told me to do what I really want to do ~ she knows that my heart is on the ALT job. We only know each other for about 4 months, but she knows me well.

Another friend told me to give myself more time, maybe I'd grow to like the job. I'm really confused…Actually in my heart I know what I want to do. I had planned to hold a temporary/contract position while waiting for the outcome of the ALT application. I know chances of getting that ALT job is slim, but I still want to hold on to the hope of getting it. I can only fully concentrate on a permanent job after that. Holding a temp/contract position also meant that I have more freedom over my travel plans. I could apply for the work exchange program, or go backpacking when my contract ends… in short, I'm not ready to settle down in a permanent job yet.

I've been miserable since i started work on Monday. The excitement i felt for my job died by the end of the first day when i finally realise what i'm in for. I lost my appetite but could sleep well coz i drank, but end up with hangovers the next day, and find myself dragging myself out of bed to go to work... After i talked to the senior consultant, i end up even more troubled, coz talking to her sort of made me think through clearly what made me unhappy at work... and I felt i had to make a decision soon... i can't concentrate on anything else... sianz...

Getting desperate?

Think I’m so bored at home & worried about new job that my brain’s a little screw-loose now…Few days ago I suddenly had this crazy urge to go to the flower shop to buy sunflower seeds & plant my own sunflowers. My friend has mentioned that it’s quite easy to plant them in Spore…he has planted a few before… So I told my sis & Dad my plan…they were quite supportive…started helping me to find a nice spot to plant them… and I went online to read up on tips on planting sunflowers… Ok, those are just PLANS…I’ve yet to buy the seeds…let’s see when I’d really go ahead with my plans… Hmm… it’s quite a good hobby huh?

I’ve been trying to translate some Singlish terms to Japanese. That’s the first time that I bother to think thru thoroughly the meaning & usage of Singlish terms. I still can’t figure out some Singlish terms’ meaning though & yet we use it so naturally… I asked my sis, checked internet, browsed thru books… still can’t translate some… think my Japanese friend wouldn’t bother learning it anyway… but since I promised to do a translation… I’ve to do it…luckily no deadline for it!

Years ago, I told myself that I wana get married by age 25. I’m approaching 26 but still single. Ya, I’m happy with singlehood ~ going where I like, doing what I like w/o having to consider another person’s feelings…but I do feel lonely sometimes…talking to Ah ke & Buta-chan (my piggy soft-toy) just makes me more lonely…I wish to have someone to be there for me… someone whom I can confide my thoughts to, someone who can guide me, someone who's supportive of my plans no matter how crazy it seems… but where to find?!! I know I’m sounding desperate already... ok.. let’s see… if still can’t The ONE by 30, I’d just stop thinking of finding Mr Right & prepare for life of a spinster!

My friend told me to leave it to fate… Ya…I believe in leaving it to fate. But sometimes if leave everything to fate, things will never happen! At least that’s what I believe… fate creates chances to meet, the rest is up to us… Recently I registered for this online dating site in hope of meeting the one… it’s actually quite fun… My sis & her friend & my bro’s friend all registered as well… but I’ve yet to come across someone whom I’d like to keep in contact for long… and those who contacted me… all cannot make it type… Btw, I made a new Japanese friend recently… saw his ad on Yahoo!Personals & wrote to him 2 weeks ago. We communicate via msn… he’s very interesting… traveled to many countries…i wonder how long a long-distance friendship can last…

I am struggling to keep in contact with my Japanese friends in Japan…wrote to them almost a month ago, but they’ve yet to respond…give it a few more months and we’d probably forgotten that these friends existed… I can’t even maintain contact with some S’porean friends… much less to mention those in Japan…But my unique friendship with my dear Prince Edwin is different. We’ve known each other for almost 15 years! Our short 3-month relationship when we were 16 didn’t kill our friendship & we went on to become best friends. We’ve been writing to each other for almost 10 years? We are writing less often now coz he’s bz… but we are still keeping this friendship going…He was so sweet…called me on New Year day from America. It’s so nice to hear from friends after so long… Valentine's Day coming... someone told me before that it's considered Friendship Day as well... is it thought up by those who are single? i wonder.... Anyway... 3 cheers to friendship!!

Gdby glasses/contact lens...Gdbye days of rotting...

Day 3 after my eye surgery. Now I can wake up seeing clearly…yippee!! No complications from the surgery… keeping my fingers crossed. Vision is not 100% clear yet… quite sensitive to light/brightness… night vision is blurred, and vision fluctuates throughout ~ sometimes clear, sometimes blur…dun dare to drive for the time being. Quite paranoid being in crowded places now… what if someone knocks something into my eye? There’re still traces of red near my cornea… can’t wash my face coz have to keep my eye area clear of water & soap… I’ve gotten rid of my contact lens… feel like keeping my glasses for remembrance sake…

Haiz…starting work tomorrow. I’m not too excited about it. Ya, no doubt I’d get to do my favorite aspect of HR ~ Recruitment & Selection… & work with a bunch of crazy locals & Japanese… but think I’ve rested too much at home ~ 1 month!! Just can’t get into the mood for work…

What have I been doing for the past few days? hmm… my 2 boxes from Japan arrived on Thursday, but I only started unpacking/packing yesterday. Mission accomplished tdy ~ save for my big poster of GLAY which I’ve yet to put up… My room looks a little different now… more cozy than before… maybe coz now I’ve more junk than before! I’ve a row of pigs on my desk… photos taken in Japan hung on my wall… very satisfied with my desk now (it used to be so empty & “cold”)…but so “Japan homesick” to see those photos…Arghhhh…i want to go to Japan!!

It’s a month already…and I’m still so crazy over the country…I listen to Jap songs every… I attend Jap lang class every week… my direct manager & boss are Japanese… so are 3 of my colleagues… sighz…maybe I was a Japanese in my previous life…

Just checked out the flights to Nagoya on the 8th / 9th Feb. Cheaper flights (Thai-airways/M’sia) all fully booked…Only choice left is SQ direct @$1260. Quite tempted to reserve the ticket. Think I’m crazy…I’ve just cleared my debt of 6 months of rental, and now I’m thinking of spending a bomb again. Checked my bank account…enough for my crazy plans…so save or spend?? aiya…save so much $$ for what purpose? I might not live to spend them! At it takes is one fatal accident or a sudden terminal illness…and I’m gone…

Left eye surgery ~ LASIK

I’m a one-eye blind bat for now…typing with blurred vision. Did the eye laser surgery for my left eye this morning. It’s a success I think…the doctors seemed pleased. The whole process took about 10-15 mins, including prep time. But I had to be there an hour earlier to do an eye check & sign documents for consent to do the surgery. After i signed the documents, the nurse said there's some typo error & made me re-sign on a photocopied copy instead.Waited for 1 hr for my turn. There were 3 other patients waiting too. They were all accompanied by someone…I was the lone ranger ~ bored & no one to talk to.

Browsed thru some magazines,..just as i was engrossed with a particular article on "Why gals scare off the potential guy who gets along with them" (something along that line lah..), it's my turn for the surgery. .. i will try to finish up that article tomorrow...it's interesting! Can give me some insight on why i scared that Korean guy away....hahahaha

Ok, back to the surgery...For the prep, the nurse 1st confirmed my IC no, then made me wear a green overall over my clothes. And blue plastic covers for my shoes. Then she proceeded to clean my eye area before leading me into the laser surgery room.I was't too scared…until I stepped into the laser suite for the surgery. The doctor first confirmed my IC before proceeding. I was conscious throughout. It’s actually a little scary when the surgery was in progress. The doctor kept telling me to look at the red light in front, to concentrate, and not to move. And he started putting some stuff around my eye to clamp it open. It was a little painful at that moment, but was ok after that. Then it started ~ I heard the laser at work, could even smell it. It seemed to take forever though it lasted less than 5 min I think… Took a short 15 min rest, and I’m fine to go home after the doctor did a quick review.

Minimal pain & discomfort then…until I reached home. That’s when the pain kicked in. My eye felt very sore, there were some tearing as well. I tried to sleep, but had a headache, making it difficult for me to fall asleep. And the soreness of my eye became worse…at some point even felt painful. I felt really miserable then, wondering how I’m gona survive another round of surgery tomorrow for my right eye. After a round of eye medication the discomfort lessened & I could sleep for a while before the 2nd round of medication.

It’s been about 6 hrs after my surgery. Vision is not back yet, but at least the discomfort is gone. I could even watch TV, and now typing away at my PC though it’s quite blur…

GLAYdreamer

I'm still thinking about GLAY's concert...came up with a dreamy plan....If office would be closed on Friday (11th Feb), I'd have a long weekend from 9th - 13th Feb, that's excluding eve of New Year. As the concert's held in Nagoya, i'd fly to Nagoya at nite on 8th Feb. Then go meet Evelyn for reunion dinner on 9th Feb. On 10th & 11th Feb I'd go to Takayama for the hotsprings or meet my friend in Mie to go skiing if he's free. Then i'd return to Nagoya on 12th Feb to attend the concert & return to Singapore 13th Feb. Sounds good huh? Haiz....but this is just me daydreaming away....

Weekend...

The internet connection’s driving me nutz! It’s been unstable since Saturday evening ~ d/c on & off. I spent the afternoon yesterday writing my blog & it got d/c the moment I tried to post it…and there goes all I wrote!! And I’ve to re-write everything now…by memory!!

This week’s my last week of rest at home before I start working…sianz…wanted to go out with my sister but I had a bad attack of cramps that lasted almost the whole day, so stayed at home to rest instead. And wrote as & when I felt better / bored…

I attended my 1st Jap lesson on Sat. Wah, really low morale to study on Sat afternoons 4.30-7pm. Even tho it’s better than rotting at home, having to drag myself out of my home in the middle of the day to attend lessons was a little tough. And concentrating for 2.5 hrs was another challenge. But the teacher was very lively & chatty, cracked silly jokes occasionally to liven up the class, so it wasn’t really a torture to go thru the lesson. Half the class turned up (5 of us), so everyone had a chance to speak up. Most of those in my class had been studying Jap for 5 – 10 years. Amazing! They have the stamina to study for so long!!!

After lessons I went to check out Isetan. They have a pretty good collection of Japanese food ~ snacks, cooking ingredients, cooked food etc.. I had cravings for ume-shu (plum liq) so bought a bottle home. Talking about drinking, I thought I’d stop drinking ume-shu for good ever since the July’04 episode where I finished a whole bottle on my own. It was so sweet to drink it undiluted but I did it anyway & no longer wanted to drink it again…or so I thought! I stayed off ume-shu for about 4 months only… I had expected myself to quit drinking once I’m back in Spore coz my parents wouldn’t like it. BUT my brother likes red wine, and my parents drink it for health (it apparently helps prevent heart diseases), so I get to drink it too! And dad likes ume-shu tho he drinks it in small quantity. So I’ve a good excuse to buy it… haiz… guess will be difficult to quit!

Drinking’s the worst habit I picked up in Japan…Luckily I didn’t pick up smoking, else I think I’d have a tough time quitting. There was once when I was very tempted to try it at a party… My friends were smoking marijuana & offered it to me. Very tempted to try, but rejected it. Then they offered me a cigarette instead. I was quite drunk then…game to try anything, but Uncle Lee (my ex-classmate who’s like a big brother) was there…his presence sort of put a control on my behavior. We promptly left the party after I sober up a little.

Back to my Saturday stories…bro & Alice returned home in the evening with a bento each. They had craving for bento & bought it at Meida-ya. They were utterly disappointed with their dinner. They were still drooling over the taste of the bentos they ate in Japan. Too bad for them…with hardly any business competitors here in Spore, the quality would often be poor… And not many Sporeans would want to eat bento when they can buy yummy freshly cooked hawker food.

At night I spent some time reading the fortune telling book I bought from Japan. Half the time I was checking out the dictionary for meanings though. Hmm… seems like this is a good year for me…

I met up with my ex-colleague from GE on Sunday. We pigged out at Marche for 2 hours, talking about GE & Japan. She's no longer working there, but still has lots of updates on GE. I told her quite a lot about Japan & my adventures there as well. We went on to talk about MCP Korean guys & perverted Jap guys. And I admitted buying a porno mag in Jap, but that’s not for my own use, it’s for my brother’s birthday. Supposed to get my male friend to buy for me, but he was bz, so I got it myself. Had a hard time choosing coz most of the mag were sealed at the sides, so can’t browse through ~ I had to peep from the corners to see whether there’re more photos or manga. Apparently my bro liked it…tho his gf has prob confiscated it away now!

After lunch we shopped & continued with our stories. I went to check out the J-pop CD collection at Tower Records at Suntec. It was a great disappointment :( The albums were old. Singles were expensive. *sob sob*....maybe i should get whoever's coming back from Japan to buy some for me!At Suntec we saw many people walking around with a plastic bag with the words "Library book sale" printed on it. "Ahhh.....must be the annual library book sale!" i thought... So we went to check out the exhibition halls....

It really was the sale ~ last day though... I managed to find 3 interesting titles ~ (i) 3 cyclists' trip through South America, (ii) A Somalia gal's story, (iii) book about the pianist featured in the movie "Shine" (i didn't watch the movie tho..) and 2 travel books ~ Scotland & Alaska. Buying a book on Scotland is expected coz it's my dream to go there, but Alaska?? Even i'm surprised! I was curious about Alaska & thought of just browsing thru & leave it....until i came across pictures of the lovely scenery ~ Alaska's so beautiful!! But no plans to go there at the moment.... i want to cover Japan first, followed by New Zealand, Tasmania (Australia), Scotland... Alaska would have to wait...At 6pm, everyone in the exhibition observed a minute of silence for the victims of the tsunami disaster. Apparently it's done island-wide on Sunday... I left with my purchase of 5 books at total cost of $6!! Very satisfied shopper :)

Went in search of nice sandals for work....found a pair i liked at URS (at Citylink) but there were no price tag on it. I asked the salesgal about it, and she disappeared to check out the price... can't believe her answer when she returned "er, this costs 30+" My goodness!! Where's her brains?!! I shot her "30+? What if i want to buy it?" She gave me a lost look and went off to check the price again before giving me an exact price. Haiz.... And my friend had to wait about 5 mins for the shop's boss to return to make payment. This is so dumb! When we were done with that, I went to buy the Japanese milk tea home ~ highly recommended it to my friend as well. Tired after a day out, slept early on Sunday.

Last nite I checked out Glay’s official website. Their Expo’04 concert DVD’s out for sale already & it comes with a poster!! And also have new album though I actually have all the songs already. And they are going to hold a series of concerts in Feb-March. I’m so tempted to go attend it. Apparently the one held in Osaka will be special ~ all standing concert due to the venue, so will be more fun. But it’s in March…I can’t apply for leave then. Hmm…if the office would be closed on 11 Feb, maybe I can go attend the one in Nagoya. Haiz… all dream only…

I woke up with the usual runny nose this morning. The air at home is very bad. I’ve been having this problem ever since I returned to Spore. And I’ve been feeding mosquitoes almost every day. The construction site next to my home is driving me crazy…the noise & air pollution…I can’t stay at home in the day for long, the noise is so irritating!I was so bored just now that my sis & I started looking at the Yahoo!Japan Personals, searching for suitable guys for her friend. Most of the Jap guys cannot make it. Those under the Australia site were quite cute…then we went to the Spore site. Also cannot make it… think she better join me in throwing oranges in hope of finding Mr Right…

Getting to know U

Attended an IT orientation session on thurs, followed by company dinner last night. And all these are before my actual start at work. Gave me a chance to break the ice & know my colleagues and boss better.The IT session was actually a discussion to improve the existing system & introduce a new system. The IT coordinator's a Japanese who came from the Shanghai office. I set through the discussion, testing my listening comprehension as they discussed in Japanese. There was a translator, but it was difficult for her to translate everything to me. But i understood 60-70% anyway.

When they were done, the orientation for the local staff started. I had fun listening to the Jap speaker, then the translator as none of the locals understood Japanese. There was a powerpoint presentation as well ~ totally in Japanese. Feels as if I'm attending Japanese lessons!

Dinner was held at Gyu-kaku (Japanese BBQ restaurant) @CHIJMES last night. The mood was relatively relaxed. It's another session of listening comprehension, "eavesdropping" on the conversations among the Japanese colleagues & boss. After a few drinks, my boss went bonkers, as did some others. My boss & 2 other male associates did a very funny photo shot which they said is like some high-school kids' pose. Imagine 3 guys whose combined age adds up to >100 acting cute? That's what they really did!We ended early & i was home by 11.

Received Evelyn's email on updates at Yamasa. This semester seems more interesting than the past few semesters ~ incl. cooking class, ikebana, tea ceremony... Why didn't they have it for the previous semesters?

Hmm...feeling sleepy now...gona take a nap before afternoon's Japanese lessons....

Looking back on 2004 (Part 2)

Summer in Japan was a miserable period ~ warm & humid. Sometimes my room temperature hit 29deg & above. It’s worse than Spore’s weather. In Spore I could use the air-con but in Japan I often stayed in school till late to escape the heat at home. I didn’t want to burst my utilities budget for the month by using the air-con.

Not sure what came over me, but I wanted very much to return to S’pore for a short break during the summer holidays (end June – early July). Not that I missed anyone in Spore...But I dropped the idea coz it’s not worth the costs. Wanted to go traveling, but didn’t get around to planning anything, and before I knew it, it’s already the holidays which was miserably short ~ 1 week only :(

I had a “summer heartbreak”. I couldn’t take it...almost my whole month of July was spent in misery. But I was lucky that I had friends who were there to pull me out of it. July ended on a happy note. I was in Osaka USJ attending the GLAY EXPO concert. The concert nearly had to be cancelled due to a typhoon. Glad the weather was fine after all. The concert was so happening!! 100,000 people ~ stand-up concert ~ 3 hours of songs & dance. I just went crazy there (luckily I wasn’t with any friends!) My obsession with the group grew after that. Wonder when will be their next concert...

The highlight of summer was the fireworks festival in August at Okazaki Park. We had fun searching for a nice kimono & wearing it. We had no idea how to wear a kimono then ~ just try-&-error. Thanks to Aaron we had a very good spot from which to see the spectacular 2-hours fireworks display. It was very fun ~ a group of about 20 of us having picnic in the evening till the fireworks began...after it ended we went for supper with the teachers.

2 days later it was Spore’s National Day. We had a little Sporean party and played with fireworks as well. I finally had the chance to play with the fireworks. I simply had to try playing it myself coz we’d never be able to play it in Spore. I wanted to buy more to keep till Jaycee/Pris comes to Okazaki & we’d play together but the season/weather wouldn’t be suitable then, so the idea was dropped. I like fireworks...hope to have to chance to attend a fireworks festival again or play with it in Japan.

I started learning how to wear the kimono in August. I had signed up for a kimono wearing contest to be held in November. The weekly 2-hr kimono lessons were quite taxing. My goodness, there’re so many layers to wear before putting on the actual kimono. It was quite a challenge to remember the numerous steps & wearing it well. I didn’t do it well enough to win the contest, but had a very good experience in learning how to wear it. I hope to have the chance to learn the other variations of tying the obi (belt of kimono) in future, but such courses are rare in Spore...coz who’d want to wear a kimono in Spore’s weather?

September was the month where there were 2 earthquakes in a day ~ headline news in Japan. There was no panic over at my apartment block, though I heard those at the other blocks rushed out of their rooms. I was really blur. When the first one came I thought it was vibration caused by my neighbor sliding the door or heavy vehicles driving past. This is not unusual, considering how thin the walls of the apartments are. I only realized it when the shakes went on for a while, but it wasn’t scary enough to make me leave my computer then. The 2nd quake occurred at midnight when I was about to sleep. This round’s tremors were stronger & more sustained than before...I was thinking whether to get out of bed when the tremors stopped. Searched for my passport & wallet and left it by my desk in case a big one hits later & I need to evacuate. It was fine for the rest of the nights & days to come.

There were many typhoons during this period as well. Quite irritating because of the rain it brought. I can’t remember when the first serious one struck, but it was scary, seeing stationary cars shaking, trees almost being uprooted. My friend drove us out for lunch & we waited till the weather cleared in the evening before going home. There were no lessons for the next 2 typhoons so I just stayed at home, wondering when my window’s gonna be blown off, or neighbor’s stuff being blown right thru my windows. Luckily none of those happened, but the partition separating my neighbor's balcony & mine collapsed. It was fixed back immediately the next day, but collapsed again during the next typhoon. Haiz... it’s a matter of time before the whole apartment collapses!

I was busy planning my trip to Hokkaido in September. I had started planning in August, but only finalized the plans just a week before departing. And I ended up not following my plans! But that’s the fun of it :) I fell in love with Hokkaido immediately & plan to revisit the place again, esp. the sunflowers fields...I could just stay there the whole day looking at the vast fields of sunflowers & greenery. I can go on & on about the Hokkaido trip & the friends I’ve made, it’s the highlight of my 1 year in Japan...I wrote about it soon after I returned from it. I plan to make a little scrapbook on it...that’s going to be my project for 2005 :)

I was still in the holiday mood for the first few weeks of October and had difficulties concentrating in class. And because my student visa’s been renewed, I no longer had to worry about attendance & started skipping lessons I deemed a waste of time. It became a habit….after a while I felt guilty about it & tried to attend most lessons & start revision. But I lost interest easily, probably because I’ve already used up all my energy for studies the previous semester where I often stayed in school to study. I had a goal then ~ to finish the whole JLPT 2 grammer book. I achieved it and didn’t set any new goals after that. It’s just revision & practice papers for the exam that mattered to me.

From October I started searching for jobs actively, but the job market wasn’t good for foreigners. I couldn’t teach coz I’m not a native speaker, couldn’t take up other jobs as I neither have the experience or Jap lang ability. Had insomnia over it for weeks...

Jaycee & Pris came to Japan in end October/early November. I met up with them in Kyoto. The reunion nearly didn’t materialize as I was too concerned about it being near the exam, and my financial reserves in Japan were almost dry. But I really wanted to spend some time with them in Japan, so went ahead with it anyway. And I’m glad I did. It was so fun! It’s like being back to those days in Europe where we walked for ages & talk cock along the way, pigged out or had picnics. I went for a hiking trip with my friend as well ~ surprisingly relaxing day of hiking. I could feel my strength slipping away during the past 2 months, but the short weekend break with them recharged me. Their presence never fails to brighten up my days.

From mid-November onwards, I started skipping school & stayed at home the whole day almost every day, unless I had to go to work or buy groceries or run errands. I became disillusioned with my studies. I wasn’t making much progress in the language, I couldn’t find a job, I was very lost. I didn’t know what I was doing. Going to school no longer held any significance to me. Even if I did go to school, my mind was often blank. I was in my own world. I started writing...about anything...sometimes I passed each day in a daze, not remembering what I did the previous days...except that it’s lots of TV & internet. Sometimes I cried, not knowing why...Only on days when I had to go for kimono lessons did I cheer up a little ~ the change in environment, the people, the challenge in wearing the kimono took my mind off negative thoughts temporarily. Teaching in the evenings cheered me up as well, but it saddened me at the same time...knowing that our lessons were coming to end soon. I finally got out of this state the day before the JLPT exam. I was very “high” the night before, and was quite crazy the days after ~ must have been the exam blues.

My sister came 2 days after my exam, and it was holiday all the way with my siblings until my departure for Singapore. It was the first time that the 3 of us + bro's gf had travelled together. I’m glad they came soon after my exam, and together with my sis, i left for Singapore. Their presence & the fun we had together helped take my mind off the farewell & other problems awaiting me in Singapore.

I was very reluctant & sad to leave Japan, to leave the environment I loved, the friends I’ve made. Having to adjust to life back in Spore was a problem, made worse by job hunt blues, future plans etc... The thought of returning to Singapore with little hope of going overseas for a long-term stay was miserable. I’ve waited for years for the chance to be out of Singapore, and I really dread going back. Although I’m back now, I haven’t given up the hope of finding a way out of the country again. Japan’s my first choice, but I don’t rule out other countries although there isn’t any that I’m so obsessed with now.

My farewell was held at my place. Had a feast...it ended late but on a happy note. Most of us are going to meet up in Spore in the future anyway, so not too sad. Returning from my holiday trip, i went to school & McDonalds to bid farewell. Dinner was another mini gathering at my place with just the few of us Sporeans. Departed for Singapore early next morning...Back home, i adjusted back to life in Spore faster than expected. It was quite tiring for me in the beginning, shopping for xmas, searching for jobs, going for interviews. Finally settled most stuff after the New Year & could start meeting up with friends.That's my 2004...in brief! Wonder if 2005 will be just as interesting....

Looking back on 2004 (Part 1)

It’s 2005! While welcoming the New Year, one can’t help but feel nostalgic about the old year. For me, it’s one of the most interesting years I’ve ever had. It was spent entirely (save for the last weeks of Dec) in Japan.

In 2004, I ushered in the New Year at Tokyo’s Meiji Shrine with Evelyn. We had taken an overnight bus to Tokyo, reaching there at 5.30am in the morning. Without a place to stay, we just roamed the streets or stoned at fast-food restaurants until it’s almost midnight. We queued for almost 2 hours at the shrine, wondering what the Japanese do...imagine our surprise when we found out that they queue for hours just to throw coins to make their New Year wishes! Boring countdown, or lack of it...decided that i would go to one in Spore in 2005, but ended up too lazy to go out. I don’t remember what wish I made for myself in 2004. It doesn’t matter since it was 1 year ago...hmm... I’ve yet to make my New Year wishes for 2005...

After the shrine we continued on to Disneyland at 3am. Played some silly rides in our half-asleep state, walked around, amazed at the number of Japanese who camped overnight at Disneyland after countdown...left the place at almost 4pm to check in to our hostel. We had survived almost 40hours w/o any sleep...but still had enough energy to go on a shopping spree the next day! That’s when my bought my darling piggy soft-toy.

Back from Tokyo, it’s the start of a new school semester & the start of my work at McDonalds. January was cold. I was down with flu soon after returning from the Tokyo trip. It was my only time falling sick in Japan. The only difference being sick overseas compared to Spore was having no one to fuss over me, no regular checks from parents, no “cooling” chestnut drink, no special meals. The flu medication I brought from Singapore didn’t work & I had to get it from the pharmacy in Japan. There was such a wide range of flu medication that I didn’t know which one to get ~ so randomly picked one! It worked miracles within days tho the irritating cough persisted for some time...

February was very cold. We thought January was bad, February was worse! Sometimes it’s so cold that I’d walk to school rather than cycle coz the freezing breeze would numb my ears. But I liked winter, except when it rained. I was always waiting for it to snow ~ but it only snowed 3 times last year. I still remember jumping for joy when it first snowed. It was on 20 Dec 03. I had stayed over at Evelyn’s place coz it was too cold to go home the previous night. In the morning, the surroundings were all covered with snow & it was snowing pretty heavily. We were so excited ~ started calling our friends and snap pictures & videos.

Celebrating Chinese New Year away from home was a first for me. My family sent me a parcel full of goodies. My sis even included those CNY decorations! Evelyn’s aunt bought her the “Yu-sheng” ingredients. We used salmon sashimi for it. On the eve of CNY, we held a “reunion dinner” at my apartment, our “family” being the 3 of us S’poreans, 2 Jap frds, 1 Indonesian & 1 Korean. It was very fun...I wonder how this year’s CNY will be....

Sometime in late January, after ending a long-term on/off relationship for good, I went to make my wishes on love during the CNY month. One year on, my wish is still not answered. Or rather, it’s answered in a way that I didn’t expect to, probably because I didn’t have a specific person in mind then ~ so I ended up with someone liking me but I didn’t, many guys treating me very well but none ended up as romantic interest. Hmm... if I want to try it again this year, I must have found a specific “target”, or else I’d probably end up like last year again...ok, I’ve 2 months to find that someone...

I started teaching English in February. For safety reasons, the first lesson was held at my neighbor’s place. My student was a 40 year old working adult who’s quite good in English. Preparing for lessons were easy ~ search for articles, discuss them, do dictation, with occasional listening practices as well. We often discussed about the Japanese culture & practices. And he was always eager to help me with my travel plans within Japan. I enjoyed our sessions ~ he’s more of a friend than a student. We still keep in contact via email, and recently his daughter started writing to me as well :)

February 29th was Daniel’s 20th birthday. I was not close to him, but do not know why I was so enthusiastic about organizing a birthday for him. Probably I felt sorry that he gets to celebrate it once every 4 years, and this time round he’s all alone in Japan. I knew most of his classmates, and together we held a party for him. It’s one of those rare moments that I see him so happy. We had fun too...getting him drunk! After that he sort of became part of our Spore clique.

I took up another job in March, speaking English to the customers for 1.5hrs/sesson at the English café. On average I had 2 sessions per month, so it wasn’t too taxing on my daily schedule. It was a good chance to interact with the Japanese, but it was tough having to cater to different customers’ command of English & topic interest. I finally left the job in August. Nothing significant happened in March, except for the planning of my parent’s trip to Japan in April.

It was an emotional period for me ~ the thought of meeting my mum brought back memories I’ve tucked away... I’m glad the April trip went on well. They stayed over at my place for 2 nights, and we went to Kyoto & Gamagori. It was a first for us to experience the hot spring & view the cherry blossoms. Things have been going on fine since I returned, and I hope it stays that way.My parents left just before my birthday, but not before passing me my birthday gift from my brother. Knowing that I’m bored at home, he bought me a DVD/VCD player. I was really very surprised & touched. He always seemed so bo-chup, but sometimes can be so sweet.

On my birthday I took a day’s off from McDonalds & spent the whole day nuahing at home...no celebrations, just a relaxing day at home...or so I thought... At almost 11pm my doorbell rang. What greeted me at the door was Asep with a birthday cake, and the rest of the gang. An unforgettable birthday celebration…I worked almost everyday from April onwards, sometimes holding 2 jobs a day. Sometimes I wondered why I was doing this to myself. I’m not exactly facing a financial crisis. I had enough savings to live comfortably for a year w/o having to work, but yet I’m doing this. I guess the thought of my bank account balance falling rapidly was too much for me to handle! But the more I worked, the more I spent...on travel! I spent so much on traveling that I ended up having to borrow from my dad to pay my rental. Extending my studies for another 3 months also messed up my financial plans...

Sometime in April/May, my Jap friend invited us to a fireworks gathering. We thought it was just a simple meal with a few of her friends followed by fireworks. Imagine how surprised we were to realize that it’s a big social gathering ~ a baseball team of guys & a few of their female friends. Being the only 3 foreigners there we were the “centre of attraction”. It was fun though...most of them spoke to us in Japanese while another tried to translate... Our social circle in Japan was quite limited to the youngsters at McDonalds & Japanese females then, so it was interesting to observe how the older guys interacted among themselves.

After dinner we drove to a park to play with fireworks. It’s not the right season for it, but we played with it anyway. We were like a scene out of a gangster movie ~ 8 cars fetching about 20 persons arriving one after another at the car-park. It was fun & exciting ~ our first encounter with fireworks being so close to us. But the guys kept giving us those harmless, boring little sparklers to play while they took the fireworks. And we noticed that the rest of the gals there all played with the smaller sparklers as well... let’s leave the more dangerous ones to the guys huh?

I've a job & getting "new eyes"!!

My days of nuahing at home is over ~ accepted a job offer yesterday. Will be working as a personnel consultant in a recruitment agency. This being a Japanese company means that I have Japanese colleagues ~ good chance to practise my Jap skills :) I can see that the people working there are very happy ~ they kept telling me it's like a family over there, that despite it being a Japanese company, the office culture is unique. I've yet to commence work, but has been invited to the company's New Year dinner this friday anyway. I'm very excited to meet my colleagues, to take this opportunity to bond with them.Besides my new job, i'm gonna have "new eyes" soon! Went for consultation today....will be going for LASIK next week to correct my eyesight surgically. It's goodbye to days of glasses & contact lens soon :)A boring end to 2004, followed by an exciting start to 2005. New job, eyes, Jap lessons, aerobics....hope this year will continue to be full of excitment & challenges....

Assholes! Stop Bothering Me!

What's my horoscope reading for this week? Does it say i've to settle scores with jerks? Twice in a week i get so pissed off with guys. First was that Jerk whom i thot i've gotten rid of last week, and he had to call again this wk to get badly shot by me... I wonder if he called me coz he has problems with the other gal he was after... i mean, that's what he usually does after he goes missing (over my side) for a period of time & suddenly resurface...Then came that Korean guy's msn message just now. I'm so consumed with frustration & anger that the happiness of receiving Xiaolin's email earlier on couldn't overcome it.

I used to see that Korean guy online often but he never msg me. And i refuse to make the first move to msg him. Just recently i decided that he's considered dead & deleted his contact. Thot i had blocked him as well, but think it didn't work... coz he msg me. At first i was pleasantly surprised... until he made his request. Asshole! Once again, he contacts me just because he needs help. What's his problem? Ever since he returned to Korea, he has msg me 3 times only, and each time it's because he has a favor to ask of me.

His approach is always the same... the usual "how are u?" opening, then just a bit of follow-up on the opening, then tok abt some other stuff.... then he'd just pop the request... insert it into the conversation so seamlessly.... and it just PISSES ME OFF!! If u need help, say so. Don't pretend to be concerned about how i am doing now. Maybe this is the Korean culture...

First he wants my photos taken in Sapporo, saying he lost the webshots link. I guessed that he wants it for some purpose. It turns out that he's doing his own homepage & wants to show the photos to his friends. I lied that i've deleted the photos. Next he wants photos of Spore, and i've none for him. Then he asked for recommendations for Chinese dramas & i said i only watch HK dramas. So he said he'd ask his Taiwanese friends instead.

Finally he asked me to send him a Chinese New Year card so that he can learn to write the words in Chinese. Have you ever come across a more thick-skinned person than him?! And guess what? He said he can send me a Korean New Year card if i want. My goodness!! How insincere a person can be?! I told him i don't have the practice of sending CNY cards [nonsense! fyi: this yr i sent out 10 CNY cards, half of whom to Japanese friends just to surprise them!]Seeing that he's failed in getting any help from me for all 4 favors, he ended the conversation saying he's going to sleep... wish me happy new year.

This is it, another jerk to the list of jerks. Why am i so suay to meet these jerks? And to think that i thot they were treasures in the past... I think i'd rather remain single than end up with a jerk like them...