His parents' objections

Just wana add on to my previous post on what other things his parents said, showing their subtle objections. Took me some time to get over the shock...

Before my bf told me to go for matchmaking in S'pore, his dad told me already in a 4-person talk, he & his parents & me. It's as if I'm there to discuss marriage & make their precious son leave for S'pore with me!

As mentioned previously, they said things like i'll be lonely etc etc.... then they added on that standing from the viewpoint of MY parents, they understand that my parents would surely want me to marry a fellow S'porean instead because we're in the same country, same culture etc. So they said during the next 3 - 4 yrs while my bf is studying, if my parents arrange matchmaking sessions/arrange marriage for me in S'pore, they & their son will be understanding. "You can always come back here for holidays. We'll welcome you... because you're cute... "

I didn't know how to react to it. If i'm being sensitive & read in between lines, i take it as their subtle objections to us being together. Otherwise I take it as they're trying to be understanding towards my parents & I.

Throughout the talk, my bf & his mum kept quiet. It's so typical of a traditional family where only the father talks. After that he ended the talk, saying sometimes really fated in life on whom we'll meet...

Post-talk... my bf didn't add on anything when we're alone... until 2 days later, of which u can read what he said in my previous post. I'm pretty sure now he's on my side, no longer influenced by his parents for now....

Is this love?

I’m back in Japan again to spend time with my dear, and what a better time than now to make the trip here! He’s waiting for the outcome of his exams, his future, our future...

It doesn’t seem like we’ll be receiving any good news, and he’s very affected by it. Who wouldn’t be? Time and again his hopes were dashed. This is his 4th or 5th attempt? If he fails, it’s another year of trying. I really admire his determination & perseverance ~ I’d have given up long ago. Maybe this is the characteristics of a Taurus? However this determination (or some call it plain stupid stubbornness) is causing everyone, including himself, unhappiness.

We’ve discussed about our future a couple of times, but the plans kept changing because of the uncertainty of his own future. We discussed this again few days ago, with unexpected reaction from both parties.

He told me it’ll take 3 – 4 years for him to graduate and start working. He wanted me to go for matchmaking sessions in Singapore during this period. Yes, matchmaking sessions! Apparently in Japan, there is still such practice by parents. He gave the promise that he wouldn’t be involved with anyone during the 3 – 4 years, but hoped I’ll go and meet other S’porean guys. How would you feel if your boyfriend told you this? Am I supposed to take this as a break-up or as a permission to cheat on him?

I really wish to settle down soon. My family aside, I really want to love and care for another person, to live a meaningful life together. And not forgetting having my own family too! He’s the only one whom I feel so strongly about now, someone whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. But can I, or we, stand the test of time & distance, test of culture & language barriers? And can we convince our family to accept us?

His parents don’t seem to approve of us. They reminded me that I’ll be all alone in this foreign land & can’t go back when things go wrong. They reminded me that life here is different from life back home where I’ve maids to serve me. Here, I’m expected to be the housewife and do all chores myself. My parents also raised the same concerns. I really don’t understand. Do they think that I’ll live a similar lifestyle if I married a local? Maybe yes if I married a rich guy, but other than that, I’ll probably be slogging at work for a similar lifestyle or be a housewife at home. So what’s the difference? Distance. If only Japan is just across the causeway!

I refuse to give up on this. Just like how “possessed” I was then to agree to wait for him when he initially didn’t want to start the relationship (because of his uncertain future), I’m still “possessed”. I believe everything in life is fated, though we ourselves play a part in controlling our fate. It’s fated that we met and started this wonderful relationship. If it’s fated that I’ll meet someone else in S’pore, I’ll see if my love for him is strong enough to control my fate.

Everyone will praise their own partner, and I’m no exception. I’ve never come across someone more caring & loving than him. When I cried upon his suggestion to meet other guys, he cried along with me. When I refused & said the simplest but most touching words I never knew I’m capable of, he cried & thanked me. We'll go through this tough journey & survive it together to achieve our happiness....

Think our story can be made into a love movie? (^-^)