Goodbye to 1/4 century year... hello to express track to the big 3...Celebrated my birthday in Japan again. Last year was a surprise mini party by my close friends in Japan. This year was another surprise too. The team celebrated for me & another colleague in the VIP room at the S'pore Pavilion. Hahaha... so we're the VIP for the day! I was very touched & surprised... didn't expect it at all... especially when the celebration was actually one week in advance :)On the actual day, i went on my 2nd solo trip in Japan. This round's to Takayama/Shirakawa-go. A relatively short 2-day trip compared to my 8-days in Hokkaido. The day before my departure i met up with Evelyn & Shin and had a little celebration. Check out my piggy birthday gifts by them. Liyuen came to join us later & i stayed over at her place in order to catch the bus to Takayama the next day.I reached Takayama in the late morning. As it was too early for check-in at the inn, I went exploring the sites on foot. Very nice little town but quite touristy ~ many souvenir shops... After check-in, borrowed the inn's bicycle & cycled to a park to get a better view of the mountains. My dad & sis called to chat with me... till my battery went flat! After pampering myself at the hotspring i had a sumptuous dinner with 3 other foreigners & 5 Japanese. I told myself that i must pamper myself on this special day even though i'm all alone... no way am i gona make myself miserable at that stupid pavilion on this day. My sis called me again at night & we had a very long chat. Felt good to be able to confide in her about my feelings, gossip about colleagues, complain about job etc...Early next morning i set off on a guided tour to Shirakawa-go. It's a World Heritage site. Quite impressive, tho i feel it'd be even more impressive during winter. I gave up listening to the guide after a while coz she used respectful manner of speaking which drove me nutz trying to understand it... Took a long bus ride back to Nagoya, then returned to the pavilion for a ride home. Quite a tiring trip due to the long bus journey.
This trip isn't as interesting as the Hokkaido trip, but i had a relaxing time... Memorable birthday... having time & space all to myself. Did i feel lonely? ya... sometimes i felt so... but on the other hand i enjoyed being alone... how often do we get to enjoy the peace & quiet of being alone? I wonder how will next year's birthday be... where would i be then?1 Comment:Ahaha!! Yr whole room oredi filled with Pigs liao..and now, got even MORE pigs! Kaoz...U can be Miss Piggy liao!Wah lau! Hot-spring! I oso Wan!!...Miss our days in Osaka leh...Soak until we both nearly fainted! ahahaha...but was damn shiok hor! Dun munch so much snacks and drink too much Beeru hor! I noe yr pattern wan...'Beercoholic + Snackcoholic'...dun forget u still need to squeeze in nice nice dress for Korkor's wedding leh! Hee...
Dear all, Thanks for your care & concern & encouragement during my darkest periods in Japan. Life still sucks here, but i've since learnt to cope with it. I guess it's simply not worth to be so upset with something that's none of my business. The S'pore pavilion can receive all the bad reviews they can get, i can't be bothered with it. I'd just make sure that i do my basic job duties & be answerable to myself. I still go thru the emotional roller-coaster ride sometimes but i won't let myself be pulled into another depressive episode again if i can help it. There's an article that i like about a carrot, an egg & coffee beans being put to boil. It made me think about myself, on how i handled my situation in Japan. I think i'm the egg... tho i wish i can elevate myself to the level of a coffee bean...Here's the article... think about which you are too!A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity... boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
1st April = 6 months countdown to the end of Expo… that’s what I felt today. A lot happened since my last blog entry 2 weeks ago. I was too tired physically, mentally & emotionally to write then. Finally can do my update today.The press conference on 17 March was a waste of time for us. The PR personnel handled everything so our presence was quite redundant. The event ended by noon, but we had to wait till almost 2pm before we could leave. I was informed then that I’m off on 18th. I was so happy then. I requested to go home to get my stuff so that I could go over to Okazaki in the evening. But I had to follow the group to get their handphone first coz there’s no vehicle to fetch me home. They took forever to choose & register their handphone. I wasted 4 hrs with them ~ finally able to leave for Okazaki at 8pm! I was very excited about going back to Okazaki. Met up with Eve & co. for supper, then stayed over at Shin’s place.The next day I went back to Yamasa to get my apartment deposit back, met up with some teachers & friends then went to visit my kimono teachers. They were very surprised & happy to see me. One of them even gave me a yukata (summer kimono). I was very touched. I went to do some shopping before dropping by Chong-san’s place, then we went to McDonalds together to say hi to my ex-colleagues there. It feels really good to be back at Okazaki ~ familiar environment, meeting friends…There was a pre-opening preview from 18 – 20 March at the Expo. We were totally unprepared for the Expo. There was no proper on-site training, so everyone used their own interpretation to introduce the various highlights of the pavilion. The weather was freezing cold & the pavilion was even colder coz it’s not fitted with heaters. One of the highlights at the pavilion was a rainstorm experience, so that area is always cold. All of us dread being posted there coz it’s very cold and the job of passing & collection of umbrellas to visitors is very tiring. Plus there’s loud music & wet ground ~ imagine listening to the same piece of music & walking on wet ground at 5 min interval for hours… But there’re people who like there coz time seems to pass faster in there.Most of us thought we’d die after the pre-opening preview coz we worked pretty long hours. We set off at 730am, start work at 1000am, end at 9pm, leave for home at 10pm after debrief. And 5 of us had to queue for one toilet at home, so the last to bathe slept at almost 12 midnight. We were very tired after work, but had to do debrief with the sickening management team consisting of STB, Pico Art & Design people. These people don’t seem to get along well coz they are always arguing, so the Pico Art manager usually ask for our feedback then quickly get us out of the meeting. What irritated us most was that most of our suggestions & feedback were ignored.After a one day break on 21/3, we went to the pavilion everyday doing nothing. They made us wear the costumes in the freezing weather, did rehearsals & training (most of which are redundant). Most of us were already quite low morale after the 18th, so all these activities just made it worse. I was fuming mad on 23/3 coz they said the Crown Prince might be coming, so made us wear our formal office attire…all the way till almost 3pm then they confirmed he’s not coming. I nearly froze to death!! Then they wanted us to help find a stupid book containing some special artifact. I wonder why can’t they confirm whether he’s coming? And why are we made to do dumb things like searching for a book, naming the Chinese herbs etc…I ended up with a bad cold the next day, then cough… took almost a week to recover. I was most miserable during this period of time. I knew I was slipping into depression again. I was in a bad mood every morning, then frustrated the whole day, then go a little crazy in the evenings, then would cry to sleep at night. It’s as if I’ve lost control of my emotions. I started sending out “SOS signals” to friends coz I duno how long I could handle this emotional roller-coaster ride. But having no internet connection meant that I could only email via my handphone which takes forever to type. Xiaolin encouraged me to bear with it, treat it as an experience whereas Eve suggested that I should consider quitting if it’s really upsetting me so much. I really do not want to quit half-way, but I duno how to bear with it.We had to work full shift (9am – 9pm) from the opening day 25/3 till 27/3 before shift work started. By the 3rd day I’ve completely lost control of my emotions, hiding in the toilet to cry half-way thru my duties. But somehow this helped me feel better ~ guess I’ve bottled everything up for too long. After this episode, I basically became super bochup with anything related to the pavilion. I don’t care if they threaten to send me back. I just do my basic duties & usually just ignore the management team, sometimes treating them as invisible when they walk past me. There’s this performer from Show Fest and the AV guys…they usually try to cheer me up & encourage me. I guess everyone can see that I’m very unhappy here. But I’m not the only one going thru this. The rest of the guides aren’t happy too, but they cheer themselves by shopping, eating etc. I try to do that too, but my mood just dips the moment I reach the pavilion. Will I ever like my job?Today I was posted to give out & collect umbrellas the whole day. I suddenly wondered why I bothered to study so much just to give & collect umbrellas. I’m wasting my time here. I can learn & earn a lot more in Singapore, not to mention being much happier too. But there’s no turning back now. I can just hope to be sacked, or that things will become better as I get used to what I’m doing now. Initially I didn’t want to do any traveling in order to save up for my year-end trip, but maybe I would travel after all during this period, otherwise I might just go crazy. One thing for sure, I’d go somewhere during my birthday! I wouldn’t want to make it a miserable day by working that day… On my first off-day since the opening, I went to a hot-spring with Liyuen at Nagoya, then pampered ourselves with a good meal. I would probably use the next off day to settle down into the new apartment before my birthday break :)- Bao on 1st April3 comments:
Oink!...Cheer Up ok. Take it Easy...if the management there gib u F**k-Up treatment, U shall gib them DOUBLE F**K-Up Work & Attitude! ahahah...But if U really cannot Tahan anymore, juz remember tat Ah-ke & Peko-chan are alwaiz by yr side. It's really unhealthy to keep everything to yrself u noe. U're back in Jap now...U shld be Happy leh...and not feeling Miserable. Don't tink too much oso lah...not good for yr brain cells. Unless U are tinking of Ah-ke and Buta-Chan, then it's a different story! ahaha I wanted to drop by your blogger to wish you a happy belated birthday as i forgot to send u a greeting card on Monday. Sorry...Cheer Up! I know that you are always strong so I bet you will be able to convince yourself and work things out..Believe in yourself! The anonymous = Soo Shian..forgot to type my name
It’s been a while since my last update. After the training at SVC, nothing much happened. Or rather, I just wasn’t in the mood to write. I was in one of my mood swings, where I didn’t want to do anything, wanted to disappear into my own world.I was scheduled to depart for Japan on 14 Mar, but nothing was confirmed until I received the air-tickets on 10 Mar. The 2 weeks before I was scheduled to leave, I was very moody. I wanted out from the Expo. The lack of information & frequent changes of information pissed me off. The organizers are so disorganized!! And they don’t seem to be concerned about us. I was thinking, if this is the way they handle things & treat us now, how would things turn out in Japan? I wonder if I had made the right choice in going for this Expo. Maybe I was too blinded by the opportunity to return to Japan that I didn’t consider other factors like accommodation, salary etc. I had assumed that they wouldn’t treat us too badly. This is an experience of a lifetime ~ that of a slave. My enthusiasm for the job was gone before I left for Japan. Upon reaching Japan, it just became worse. I know I might slip into another depressive mood soon. The signs are there. I’m trying very hard to get out of it. I duno why this is happening. Stress? Disappointment? Fatigue?We arrived at Nagoya Airport on 15 Mar morning. Waited almost an hour before someone from Pico Art came to pick us up. That guy had serious attitude problem. He just came to confirm we are the ones he’s picking up, then walked off without a word, only to reappear again in about 15 mins before going into a café for another 10 mins or so. We just waited there like idiots. From the airport, we went straight to the Expo site. It was freezing cold there coz the pavilion wasn’t ready & the heater wasn’t on. We were just being dumped there, to go explore the place ourselves. We just walked around, before returning to the van to sleep before lunch. We continued with our nap after that before they finally decided to send us to our apartment in the late afternoon. I don’t understand why they were doing this.The apartment was a sad case. Small room & pathetic kitchen. And the heater isn’t working well ~ imagine heater set at 31 deg & we still feel cold! There’s a split level in the room, the upper level being the sleeping area enough for 3 persons. And one bed on the lower floor. With one small wardrobe & baggage of 3 girls, this apartment is ridiculously small! And we are expecting 2 more roommates to come in on Sat. So it’s 5 gals to a small pathetic room & 1 toilet. We heard there’d be 2 more rooms in April, so it’s prob 3 to a room, but our mgr just act blur & didn’t answer our questions. What’s their problem? Is it so difficult to answer us? The futons are without covers. And we found a set of wet dirty covers. We just slept on the futon w/o covers. I’m just too tired mentally & physically to bother about anything else, except for the internet which pissed me off. They promised wireless connection. All bulls**t! No wireless connection detected. When we brought this matter up to our mgr the next morning, he said we had to get wireless card from Japan. Nonsense! Why should I get it when my laptop is in-built with it? And I know for sure it works since I used it in Japan before. So in the end he said will check it out.We went to explore our surroundings. Very inconvenient. Nearest train station is 20 mins away by bus. No supermarkets nearby. There’re only 2 convenience stores 5~10mins away. Even getting household items was a problem since the place is so ulu. Imagine our morale when all these sunk in. I just completely switched off from then on. I can’t wait for this to end & I can go home. No, I don’t feel homesick. Neither do I dislike Japan. I just want to get out of this whole thing. It doesn’t help that all the other 8 guides feel the same too. 4 guides had arrived tdy, and similarly they were sent to the Expo site immed. We were there since morning, helping to clean up one of the exhibit room. Total waste of time since construction is still going on around the area. It’d just end up dusty again. Then they told us to help prepare some exhibits which took us all the way till lunch time. I started losing my appetite today. No matter how tasty the chicken looked, I didn’t feel like eating. Every bento at the convenience store looked boring to me. I couldn’t finish a small pkt of maki ~ no appetite. I duno when this will end.There was a rehearsal for tomorrow’s press conference. Although there was someone translating explanation of the pavilion into Japanese, I didn’t bother to listen. I kept thinking to myself, “Sianz, when will this be over?”In the late afternoon the attitude guy who picked us up from the airport fetched us out. He went to get some stuff while we went to get mobile phones. We spent a long time there, so much so that he was quite annoyed with us. In the end one of us bought coffee to apologize to him, pacify him a little. After that he brought us to the 100yen shop to get our household items, buy dinner, then fetched us back.This is just day 2 in Japan. Living in an inconvenient location, with little time to go elsewhere, how are we gona survive the next 6 mths here?On a lighter note, I have a bunch of fun guides with me. No doubt half the time we are grumbling about our situation, we have cheerful & interesting characters among us to lighten the mood sometimes. I’m glad Chong-san bought the mobile phone for me when she came back, else I’d still be without a phone now, coz we simply didn’t have the chance to get one, except for the short time we had today. Even so, those who bought couldn’t get the phone immed as we couldn’t wait 1 hr for the registration to be completed, so will be collecting it tomorrow instead.On the day I arrived, I applied for mobile phone email / sms. Emailed my family immed. And sms Evelyn, but decided to follow up with a call to her too since never talk to her for so long already. Later at nite, I emailed my meetic Jap friend & other friends. Wanted to email Xiaolin, but decided to call instead, to surprise him a little. First he missed my call, then I missed his return call. But I managed to reach him in the end. Felt weird to be speaking Japanese after almost 2 months’ break from the language. My proficiency deteriorated so much that he commented on it! Maybe it’s the language barrier, or the distance between us, we didn’t talk a lot & there were moments of silence, neither of us knew how to carry on the conversation, so I ended it saying I’m tired, which is the truth ~ I was quite stoned by then.Liyuen reached Japan today & called me from the apartment. Seems like her apartment is much better than us. Good location, big apartment, well-furnished. Didn’t talk much to her tho. Waiting for to meet up with her tomorrow. Priscilla gave a surprise call today. Very happy to hear from her! At first I couldn’t recognize her voice coz of hp & also it was a little noisy. So sweet of her to call, to check if I’ve arrived safely in Japan. I just started complaining away to her…Tired now… hope tomorrow’s press conference turns out well… & they would let us go home earlier for the “good work”…-- Bao on 16 March
It’s been a while since my last update. I was busy & tired with the stupid attachment at the Singapore Visitors Centre. Yes, besides the dumb training I had to attend in mid-Feb, I had to do 20 hrs of attachment at the SVC. And it’s UNPAID!! It’s a total waste of time. I certainly didn’t enjoy the experience there. Let me tell u why…Firstly the job there wasn’t very relevant. Most visitors at SVC drop by to ask for directions to specific places, with only a few asking for suggested itinerary. Directions to places in Singapore will seldom be asked at the Expo. I mean, who would bother how to get to the Night Safari when one’s in Japan. People there will be more curious about the exhibits and things they can do in Spore, rite?And the majority of visitors who went to the SVC were Europeans. How to practice conversing with Japanese visitors then? Even when there were some Japanese, they chose to converse with us in English instead despite us trying to converse in Japanese. Is our Japanese so bad that they would rather struggle with us in English? And there weren’t many visitors during my 20 hrs there. We just stand there talking among ourselves, reading & re-reading the same set of brochures to kill time. What a waste of time!What irritated me most was the staff at the SVC. Some of them were so “ya-ya” ~ think they are so good… in particular the guides’ leader… a 50 yr old male guide…The day he came on duty, he told us off in the morning. I don’t know what his problem is. He’s such a pain in the a**. First he accused us of not greeting the visitors, to which we denied, so he said it’s not loud enough.Next he started talking about his experience as a guide, being in-charge of the guides there, that he didn’t want us to bring down the name of the SVC. And he claimed his team of guides was approached to work at the Expo, but the deal was dropped because their demand for salary of at least S$2000 was not met, that they were being offered $1600 only. We are only getting $1000, so what’s he trying to say? Hint that we are cheap substitutes for them? All 4 of us there were very pissed off with him.That same night, the in-charge from Pico Art called to ask me about what that guide said to us. And he tried to re-assure me that we are not substitutes, and not to be demoralized by it. He apparently called the other guy on duty about it too. One of gals had complained this to her frd who wasn’t on duty, and her frd told the in-charge about it, and he actually went down to the centre to talk to the gal on the very evening coz she was on full day shift. The next day that guide seemed all out to pick on that poor gal. Disgusting! On our last day we thanked the female guide who had been so very nice to us for the past few sessions, and waved goodbye to the rest, except to that pain in the a** male guide.I’m so glad the attachment’s over. The female guide told us to work hard at the Expo, so that we can get a good testimonial from STB, and work in STB in the future, or at the SVC. Good advice, but NO THANKS to STB-related work!
Goodbye to 1/4 century year... hello to express track to the big 3...Celebrated my birthday in Japan again. Last year was a surprise mini party by my close friends in Japan. This year was another surprise too. The team celebrated for me & another colleague in the VIP room at the S'pore Pavilion. Hahaha... so we're the VIP for the day! I was very touched & surprised... didn't expect it at all... especially when the celebration was actually one week in advance :)