1st April = 6 months countdown to the end of Expo… that’s what I felt today. A lot happened since my last blog entry 2 weeks ago. I was too tired physically, mentally & emotionally to write then. Finally can do my update today.
The press conference on 17 March was a waste of time for us. The PR personnel handled everything so our presence was quite redundant. The event ended by noon, but we had to wait till almost 2pm before we could leave. I was informed then that I’m off on 18th. I was so happy then. I requested to go home to get my stuff so that I could go over to Okazaki in the evening. But I had to follow the group to get their handphone first coz there’s no vehicle to fetch me home. They took forever to choose & register their handphone. I wasted 4 hrs with them ~ finally able to leave for Okazaki at 8pm! I was very excited about going back to Okazaki.
Met up with Eve & co. for supper, then stayed over at Shin’s place.The next day I went back to Yamasa to get my apartment deposit back, met up with some teachers & friends then went to visit my kimono teachers. They were very surprised & happy to see me. One of them even gave me a yukata (summer kimono). I was very touched. I went to do some shopping before dropping by Chong-san’s place, then we went to McDonalds together to say hi to my ex-colleagues there. It feels really good to be back at Okazaki ~ familiar environment, meeting friends…
There was a pre-opening preview from 18 – 20 March at the Expo. We were totally unprepared for the Expo. There was no proper on-site training, so everyone used their own interpretation to introduce the various highlights of the pavilion. The weather was freezing cold & the pavilion was even colder coz it’s not fitted with heaters. One of the highlights at the pavilion was a rainstorm experience, so that area is always cold. All of us dread being posted there coz it’s very cold and the job of passing & collection of umbrellas to visitors is very tiring. Plus there’s loud music & wet ground ~ imagine listening to the same piece of music & walking on wet ground at 5 min interval for hours… But there’re people who like there coz time seems to pass faster in there.
Most of us thought we’d die after the pre-opening preview coz we worked pretty long hours. We set off at 730am, start work at 1000am, end at 9pm, leave for home at 10pm after debrief. And 5 of us had to queue for one toilet at home, so the last to bathe slept at almost 12 midnight. We were very tired after work, but had to do debrief with the sickening management team consisting of STB, Pico Art & Design people. These people don’t seem to get along well coz they are always arguing, so the Pico Art manager usually ask for our feedback then quickly get us out of the meeting. What irritated us most was that most of our suggestions & feedback were ignored.
After a one day break on 21/3, we went to the pavilion everyday doing nothing. They made us wear the costumes in the freezing weather, did rehearsals & training (most of which are redundant). Most of us were already quite low morale after the 18th, so all these activities just made it worse. I was fuming mad on 23/3 coz they said the Crown Prince might be coming, so made us wear our formal office attire…all the way till almost 3pm then they confirmed he’s not coming. I nearly froze to death!! Then they wanted us to help find a stupid book containing some special artifact. I wonder why can’t they confirm whether he’s coming? And why are we made to do dumb things like searching for a book, naming the Chinese herbs etc…
I ended up with a bad cold the next day, then cough… took almost a week to recover. I was most miserable during this period of time. I knew I was slipping into depression again. I was in a bad mood every morning, then frustrated the whole day, then go a little crazy in the evenings, then would cry to sleep at night. It’s as if I’ve lost control of my emotions. I started sending out “SOS signals” to friends coz I duno how long I could handle this emotional roller-coaster ride. But having no internet connection meant that I could only email via my handphone which takes forever to type. Xiaolin encouraged me to bear with it, treat it as an experience whereas Eve suggested that I should consider quitting if it’s really upsetting me so much. I really do not want to quit half-way, but I duno how to bear with it.
We had to work full shift (9am – 9pm) from the opening day 25/3 till 27/3 before shift work started. By the 3rd day I’ve completely lost control of my emotions, hiding in the toilet to cry half-way thru my duties. But somehow this helped me feel better ~ guess I’ve bottled everything up for too long. After this episode, I basically became super bochup with anything related to the pavilion. I don’t care if they threaten to send me back. I just do my basic duties & usually just ignore the management team, sometimes treating them as invisible when they walk past me. There’s this performer from Show Fest and the AV guys…they usually try to cheer me up & encourage me. I guess everyone can see that I’m very unhappy here. But I’m not the only one going thru this. The rest of the guides aren’t happy too, but they cheer themselves by shopping, eating etc. I try to do that too, but my mood just dips the moment I reach the pavilion.
Will I ever like my job?Today I was posted to give out & collect umbrellas the whole day. I suddenly wondered why I bothered to study so much just to give & collect umbrellas. I’m wasting my time here. I can learn & earn a lot more in Singapore, not to mention being much happier too. But there’s no turning back now. I can just hope to be sacked, or that things will become better as I get used to what I’m doing now. Initially I didn’t want to do any traveling in order to save up for my year-end trip, but maybe I would travel after all during this period, otherwise I might just go crazy. One thing for sure, I’d go somewhere during my birthday! I wouldn’t want to make it a miserable day by working that day…
On my first off-day since the opening, I went to a hot-spring with Liyuen at Nagoya, then pampered ourselves with a good meal. I would probably use the next off day to settle down into the new apartment before my birthday break :)
- Bao on 1st April
3 comments:
Oink!...Cheer Up ok. Take it Easy...if the management there gib u F**k-Up treatment, U shall gib them DOUBLE F**K-Up Work & Attitude! ahahah...But if U really cannot Tahan anymore, juz remember tat Ah-ke & Peko-chan are alwaiz by yr side. It's really unhealthy to keep everything to yrself u noe. U're back in Jap now...U shld be Happy leh...and not feeling Miserable. Don't tink too much oso lah...not good for yr brain cells. Unless U are tinking of Ah-ke and Buta-Chan, then it's a different story! ahaha
I wanted to drop by your blogger to wish you a happy belated birthday as i forgot to send u a greeting card on Monday. Sorry...Cheer Up! I know that you are always strong so I bet you will be able to convince yourself and work things out..Believe in yourself!
The anonymous = Soo Shian..forgot to type my name
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