"What have you been doing during those days away from school?"I've been stumped by this question many times by teachers & friends. Give them the politically correct answer (revising at home)? Or the truth (rotting at home)? So i'd usually go "erm.... did nothing much" and quickly brush off the topic.Hmm....I have been rotting at home, but how do i manage to rot 24hrs at home? I tried hard to recall what i have been doing. Packing? ya, but there isn't really so much to pack! a bit of revision? nope, i remember my books just stayed in my bag for days. Online? ya, i do spend lots of time talking to my family & friends online, surfing the net for jobs, preparing my job applications. But it sure didn't need so many days at home to do it. I've given up on recalling what i did at home. It's the past anyway.
Why am I in this situation now? Is it burnout? I don't know....I had reached my saturation point in studies last semester. Daily grammer/vocab lessons of forming sentences bored me to death. And class lessons were moving so slowly that i had to study the JLPT grammer on my own ~ that probably pushed me into saturation point earlier than expected. I just saw no point in attending classes anymore since i could study on my own. Going to school was just to interact with teachers and friends. But i'm a loner. I can do w/o that sometimes. I tried to be optimistic ~ i'd get to learn something today, lessons will be fun with my friends around etc. With that in mind, i went to school. But i couldn't' concentrate and was bored easily. That's it...I'm gona stay home...going only for lessons directly related to JLPT.
And talking abt the JLPT....i find it meaningless. It's not really a true reflection of my proficiency. And i don't exactly need it anyway. So why am I spending so much time & effort on it? But whether it's useful or not, I've set the goal of passing the JLPT one year ago and I want to achieve it even tho i'm so sick and tired of studies. 9 more days to the exam. Time to start pulling myself together for the final fight....
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