I went to a hospital recently... *choy!!* I wasn't sick lah... my colleague (known as my “hubby” ~ not for real, of course!) was down with flu, so I brought him there to see a doctor, under the orders of my boss. Tho I've stayed in Japan for a year I've never been to a hospital here coz i usually self-medicate, but my boss probably assumed that I’ve been to one before. And it happened to be my off day, so I could drive him there & take care of him after that...
U might ask "why go to a hospital just to treat a flu?" Well, our Jap lang proficiency aren't really that fantastic, so we couldn't figure out if the small hospitals/clinics near our place are like the GPs in Singapore, or are they specialist clinics coz they have the sign stating [内科 (“nai-ka” ~ internal medicine)・小児科 (“sho-ni-ka” ~ pediatric)]. My hubby doesn’t look cute enough to pass off as a kid so the safest bet was to go to a hospital.
"If u are very ill, going to a hospital in Japan would probably kill you. " ~ that's the conclusion we had after going there. Why? They are so bureaucratic!! There were so many processes to go thru before we could finally go home! Luckily my hubby wasn’t that ill, so I didn’t have to face the risk of carrying a corpse home.
It was raining then, so I dropped him off at the entrance while i went to park the van. I'm not too sure what happened to him ~ how he managed to find his way around there. Apparently he went in looking super lost & approached a nurse for help. I went in looking super lost too but somehow managed to spot him in the big messy hospital grounds. He was busy filling up a form for new patients, with a nurse trying to assist him in English. After the form was done, she asked a few questions regarding his symptoms in a mix of English & Japanese before bringing us to another department, 総合内科 (“sou-gou-nai-ka”) loosely translated as "Combined internal medicine".
Over there, she briefed the nurse on duty, bringing attention to the fact that we are foreigners with limited Japanese proficiency. Another nurse came over almost immediately and took over our case. The first question she asked me was “奥さんですか？” (“oku-san de-su ka” ~ Are you his wife?”) I was stunned. Do I really look married? I’m still single & available!! *sob sob*
She led us to a waiting area and filled a form, asking about his symptons, allergies etc. I wonder if she usually does this for all the patients or just for us non-Jap speakers. We managed to answer her questions using our limited Jap medical vocabulary with help from my electronic dictionary. It helped that we sort of rehearsed a little on what he’s gona tell the doctor. Talk about being kiasu ~ I was even thinking of writing it down before that! All the doctors/nurses would probably ask the same questions on the symptons anyway, so why not make life easier for everyone by writing it down? When words failed, actions helped. It was quite a funny sight sometimes to act out what we wanted to express. After the nurse was done, we had to wait for her to call his name.
While waiting we observed our surroundings ~ there was a digital board displaying the doctors on duty, a medication/injections counter, a “self-service” blood pressure measuring device. I was quite tempted to go try it out but wouldn’t want to risk being screamed at by the nurse.The nurses would call the patient by his family name + 様 ("sa-ma" ~ honorific salutation) . We were joking about how the patients would react if my hubby's family name was "Yong", coz the Korean craze is still hot in Japan, with aunties going ga-ga over a Korean actor whom they call "Yong sama". When "Lee sa-ma" (my hubby lah!) was finally called, we were brought to another waiting area with 4 examination rooms. We were feeling very bored by then, so started entertaining ourselves by trying the TOEIC test (English proficiency test) on my electronic dictionary. Think my English has deteriorated ever since i'm in Japan.... *sob sob*
To make this “hospital excursion” a complete experience, my hubby suggested that we go into the examination room together. Haiz, the doctor on duty was a lady... good for him, boring for me lor... where are all the cute male doctors we see on TV?There was a nurse/clerk beside the doctor typing away at the computer. The doctor asked the usual questions & did the usual medical examination. She told us his condition wasn’t serious, but because his throat was a little red, she was gona prescribe “抗生物質” (“kou-sei-bu-shi-tsu”) for him, and we just went “HUH?”. For a moment we were all silent ~ the doctor wondering how to explain to us, and us trying to figure her out. Then the doctor wrote out the word “antibiotic” and we were like “ah… antibiotics….” We wondered if that’s the only English word she knows. Ok, I know we are pretty mean, but hey, isn’t English an international language? And hasn’t the average Japanese gone thru at least 6 years of English lessons? And we are talking about a doctor here...
We wanted to request for a medical certificate but didn’t know what it’s called in Japanese. So we spoke in English & tried to act it out... (don’t ask me how we did it!). When that failed, we used simple Japanese to bring our point across, saying something like “he took a day off from work today, so...” the doctor was smart enough to catch it & said “診断書” (“shin-dan-sho”)? We assumed she meant a MC and nodded, and she said it would be for one day. When I asked if he’s fine to work the next day, she hesitated a little before replying that she’d leave the decision to us. We thought with the consultation done, it’s just payment & collection of medicine. We were wrong. The end of consultation meant the start of another bureacratic nightmare!!
First we had to wait for the nurse from the consultation area to give us a green form to pass to counter A to generate the bill. As we didn’t seem too confident of which consultation room we went to earlier, the officer at the counter told us to wait while she checked with that department. Next we went to counter B to make payment, then to counter C to collect the prescription list. There we were told to buy the medicine from one of the 2 pharmacies situated outside the hospital! *shakes head* Tell me, if you were very ill & all alone, how are you gona make it out of the hospital alive?
At the pharmacy we had to submit the prescription list to collect a queue number and fill up another form. Hmm...how many forms have we filled up already? One for new patients, one for pre-consultation, one for pharmacy... and the forms are all in Japanese...The medicine were packed in white paper envelopes with instructions on how to take it. We were also given a sheet of information on the dosage of the medicine, its properties & side-effects. There were even pictures of the medicine on it ~ prob to ensure that we don’t mix up what to take. The flu medicine was quite interesting ~ white powdery substance packed into small sachets ~ looked like washing detergent!Between my hubby received a patient card at the hospital before he left. At the back of the card was a row of boxes, and one box was marked. It looked just like a loyalty card! We were joking that after filling all the boxes we'd prob get free medical check-up or free consultation or something... haha.. But of course no such things lah! It's just to record which dept he went to for his first consultation lah...
After 2 hours of waiting & moving from counters to counters & getting out of the hospital to buy the medicine, our excursion to the hospital’s finally over. An interesting trip for me, tho I can’t say the same for the poor patient. I'm impressed yet fed up with the procedures at the hospital. Everything is so orderly but it makes life more difficult for the patients. I noticed that consultation hours are from 0830hrs~1130hrs. So what happens after that? Maybe I should go explore that place again in the afternoon and update here again...
1 comment:
Wah Kaoz! U really seemed to enjoy yrself at the hosiptal hor! U shld hab brought along your digicam mah!!! ahaha...but tink beta not...else Scully after the Missy throw u outta hospital!Oh well, anyway, I will go search for a Siren + Strobe-light complete with an Oxygen Tank, stethoscope, gloves and syringes! ahahhaa *winks*
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