First Farewell

With much effort, i went to school today for the last 2 optional classes coz they are JLPT related. I was unusually happy in school ~ sigh... I'm such a weird person...

Had dinner with Masami & her cousin. I cooked "Fried Hokkien Mee" ~ not like the real thing but edible :) We had fun filming with her viewcam & looking at my photos taken in Hokkaido & Kimono contest. And I received my first X'mas (cum Farewell) present of the year from them.

Masami's the first Japanese friend i made (excl. the McDonalds gang). Kuroda-sensei had introduced us to each other 1 yr ago. We used to meet up for language exchange, parties, outings etc. I remember going to her place for dinner ~ her grandma's a great cook! Then there's the time she brought us to a social gathering cum fireworks outing in April. That's the first time I've seen so much fireworks ~ Spore's National Day pales in comparison! And there's another time i went to her frd's place for BBQ... There're many many more memories....am so glad to have known a friend like her...sigh...it's so hard to say goodbye........

I'm gradually "detaching" myself from my cozy home. Took off all the posters, dumped/packed a lot of things last nite... by doing so, maybe it would be less difficult to say goodbye to this home in Japan...damned..is it the weather? or stress? i've craving for sweet food now......

Neighbourly Bonds

Woke up at 10.30, but still feel a little stoned. Had a little neighbours gathering last nite with SY & Steph. SY & I had chatted till 3am the previous nite, but seems like we still have a lot to talk about so gathered again last nite. We are 2 alcoholics ~ 1 beer each + plum liq couldn't satisfy us, so we walked out late at nite to buy red wine & Jap sake.....if my parents found out about this, they'd be shocked ~ their little darling has turned alcoholic!I enjoyed the chat sessions, tho now i can't really recall a lot of what we talked about. .hahaha..Amazing... we started at 7pm~ ended at almost 4am!

It's a meeting of troubled souls - Ms Lovesick, Ms Stressed & Ms Depressed.... it certainly helps to talk it out :)Someone mentioned that I seemed a little depressed now, that going home might help. Does it? ~ i wonder... Recently i've been dreaming of my family ~ I've never dreamt of them nor felt homesick during my time here...so what does this indicate? That I'm too excited / too stressed to go home? I miss my Ah-Ke, miss my jie-meis, miss watching TVB dramas, miss playing the piano, miss the hawker food, but i never dreamt of them! (ok, except for Ah-ke ;p) Whatever awaits me back home, I'm sure things will work out fine..... *think +ve, think +ve, think +ve......*

Burnt Out?

"What have you been doing during those days away from school?"I've been stumped by this question many times by teachers & friends. Give them the politically correct answer (revising at home)? Or the truth (rotting at home)? So i'd usually go "erm.... did nothing much" and quickly brush off the topic.Hmm....I have been rotting at home, but how do i manage to rot 24hrs at home? I tried hard to recall what i have been doing. Packing? ya, but there isn't really so much to pack! a bit of revision? nope, i remember my books just stayed in my bag for days. Online? ya, i do spend lots of time talking to my family & friends online, surfing the net for jobs, preparing my job applications. But it sure didn't need so many days at home to do it. I've given up on recalling what i did at home. It's the past anyway.

Why am I in this situation now? Is it burnout? I don't know....I had reached my saturation point in studies last semester. Daily grammer/vocab lessons of forming sentences bored me to death. And class lessons were moving so slowly that i had to study the JLPT grammer on my own ~ that probably pushed me into saturation point earlier than expected. I just saw no point in attending classes anymore since i could study on my own. Going to school was just to interact with teachers and friends. But i'm a loner. I can do w/o that sometimes. I tried to be optimistic ~ i'd get to learn something today, lessons will be fun with my friends around etc. With that in mind, i went to school. But i couldn't' concentrate and was bored easily. That's it...I'm gona stay home...going only for lessons directly related to JLPT.

And talking abt the JLPT....i find it meaningless. It's not really a true reflection of my proficiency. And i don't exactly need it anyway. So why am I spending so much time & effort on it? But whether it's useful or not, I've set the goal of passing the JLPT one year ago and I want to achieve it even tho i'm so sick and tired of studies. 9 more days to the exam. Time to start pulling myself together for the final fight....

Back to School

Finally went to school after skipping lessons for 4 days. My classmates were surprised ~ "Why are you here?" "You're still a Yamasa student?" hahaha...If one sees me in school, he/she should go buy lottery! As the date to exam & going home draws nearer, i just want to stay in my cozy home for a while longer.It's nice to be back at school for lessons, tho i didn't particularly like the boring conversational class i attended. ( i had skipped the 1st 3 lessons of the day). But it was fun as my classmates cracked jokes & teased the teacher. At that time, i felt i had missed out on a lot of fun by skipping lessons. Maybe i should start going to school more regularly from now on. But then again, it's only 1 more week to go b4 i say goodbye to Yamasa for good...

Why BLOG?

I don't know what's BLOG unabbrev ~ just know that it's kind of an online diary. Everyday lots of thoughts run thru my mind but nobody to share with. Read my friend's blog today.... found it really interesting ~ to write out one's thoughts and share with those who bother to read. And I can read it in future to know what i was thinking then...Ah...good idea.....so here i am, doing my first posting.

My 1 year "adventure" in Japan is ending soon. Come Dec 15, I'd be back home in tropical Singapore, beginning a new adventure of uncertainties coz I'm not sure what my future plans are. Everything's so hazy now...