Shocking news! I've tendered my resignation 1 week after I started work at school!
From my previous posts, it's obvious that I'm very unhappy at work. Over the weekend I thought through carefully. "Do I want to be doing this for the next 10-20 years? Do I want to be shouting at students & getting angry every other hour & day for the next few years?" I used to scold students in the primary school too but it wasn't as bad as this. Initially I thought maybe I'm a new teacher and the students wanted to test my limit. But after observing how senior teachers manage (they too shout & get angry at the students often) & condemn the students, I'm sure I don't want to do that for the rest of my working life. Adults in the commercial world are just as irritating or more difficult to handle but at least they don't come and anger me everyday unlike the situation in school.
I started job-hunting the day I tendered. Progress isn't good but I managed to get an interview today. Not sure if I'll get an offer coz my asking is rather high though my experience isn't quite there yet. My teaching job paid me so well that I've to suffer a big pay cut to return to the private sector.
Compared to my job-hunting last year, I feel more enthusiastic and ready this year. I guess 2 weeks of waking up early & teaching has warmed up my engine. I'm now more eager to learn & do lots of work and ready to face new challenges in the workplace. I don't want to be jobless and 'wandering around' aimlessly again.
Hope I impress potential employers enough to receive good job offers despite the gloomy economy!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Threats
Today's the 1st lesson with 1 of my sec one class. I went in smiling & tried to be friendly. However half-way through I lost my patience with a trouble-maker who couldn't sit still during lesson and later refused to stand up to do a presentation. I gave up & skipped the rest of the class presentation. I told them to write an essay.
Instead of the topic, he wrote about how much he hated me and threatened to slap me if I 'tu lan' (anger) him again. It's a good thing I read the essay during my break coz I bet he was waiting to see my expression on reading it in class. I think after 2 days of nonsense at school, I've become immuned to them. I wasn't angry or upset about why he wrote that, I just circled the title & commented that the topic and content's wrong and he should re-write. And I told him that in the 2nd class with a normal talking tone. (2 lessons for same class tdy) He didn't bother to re-write and I couldn't be bothered with him. He walked around the class almost throughout the lesson again. After a few polite but stern requests to get him back to his seat failed, I treated him as invisible. That made life better for me & the rest of the class too.
I didn't report this to the discipline master. I want to give him a 2nd chance. But if he tries to threaten me again, he can sure I will report not only to the discipline master, but to the police as well.
I finally understand why school teachers always have that 'no-nonsense' look on their face, why they seldom smile and why they are always condemning certain groups of students. With the monsters they have to deal with, it's no surprise that they are turning into witches themselves.
Instead of the topic, he wrote about how much he hated me and threatened to slap me if I 'tu lan' (anger) him again. It's a good thing I read the essay during my break coz I bet he was waiting to see my expression on reading it in class. I think after 2 days of nonsense at school, I've become immuned to them. I wasn't angry or upset about why he wrote that, I just circled the title & commented that the topic and content's wrong and he should re-write. And I told him that in the 2nd class with a normal talking tone. (2 lessons for same class tdy) He didn't bother to re-write and I couldn't be bothered with him. He walked around the class almost throughout the lesson again. After a few polite but stern requests to get him back to his seat failed, I treated him as invisible. That made life better for me & the rest of the class too.
I didn't report this to the discipline master. I want to give him a 2nd chance. But if he tries to threaten me again, he can sure I will report not only to the discipline master, but to the police as well.
I finally understand why school teachers always have that 'no-nonsense' look on their face, why they seldom smile and why they are always condemning certain groups of students. With the monsters they have to deal with, it's no surprise that they are turning into witches themselves.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
2 days only?
That's how I felt this afternoon after the last class of my 2nd day of teaching. No monsters irritated me today. However I can't find the passion to teach, not even to the 'still angelic' Sec. 1 kids. I find myself looking at my watch & clock constantly, waiting for class to end, waiting for time to go home. I dread going to school tomorrow. The counting down to weekend seems to take forever. SIANZ.....
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Bad start at work
When things weren't quite right on my 1st day of work last week, I should have known it's a bad omen for the weeks to come. I couldn't sleep last night as today's my official start at school. I was very worried about my timetable (which I only received this morning) and the classes I will be teaching. With 2 years of teaching experience in the Japanese school, I thought I will be able to handle the classes today. I was totally wrong.
I had only 2 classes today. Both are co-teach subjects where I will assist the trained teacher in class. My partner for the 1st class had to attend to some matters so I took the class on my own. It was a big culture shock to me. A nightmare.
A class full of 'ah bengs' & 'ah lians' whom I wish to cane & kick & throw dusters at. They ignored my presence almost totally. When I was writing on the board, some walked around freely, a couple of them opened the door to peep outside, the rest did their own things. Despite stern looks & tone, they weren't the least afraid and continued with their nonsense. Only a couple of them followed the lesson but they were lost most of the time due to all the distraction in class. I don't know how I managed to last thru the whole lesson.
The 2nd class was slightly better because the teacher has taught that group of bengs & lians for 3 years. But she also lost her temper & scolded some bengs for misbehavior. She used threats & sarcasm on some but it was only effective in keeping them quiet for 5 minutes. When I saw how she handled the class, I admired her ways of doing it. And when I think of how many years she's been teaching them, I salute her in my mind.
Compared to the monsters above, those little rascals in the Jap school whom I used to complain about seem like angels to me now. I believe many of the monsters come from broken families or have parents who are too busy to care or they mixed with the wrong people. The lecturer at the training workshop told us to 'love them' and when they like you, they will listen to you. I really can't make myself like them. I only see myself hitting their head & faces with a stick repeatedly with force now. It's like I want to kill them.
I've had those murderous visions when I first started out teaching a P3 class in the Jap school. And also when I had an irritating P5 boy the following year. However those kids usually responded to my stern warnings after some time. Plus there are usually only 1-2 such rascals in each class. Now we're talking about 30 monsters in a class of 35 humans.
I usually don't think of quitting after a day of work. Now I do. I can persevere on for a few months, but few years is impossible. Almost all the teachers tell me not to be too friendly with these students. They said I need to be stern until I build a rapport with them. But looking at the teacher in my 2nd class, having a rapport still required stern scoldings. I don't want to feel like I'm going for a battle everyday. I don't want to put on a fierce front and get angry everyday. I feel I'm not cut out for such battles. Although I want to teach & nurture the young, I'm not capable enough to handle monsters.
I had only 2 classes today. Both are co-teach subjects where I will assist the trained teacher in class. My partner for the 1st class had to attend to some matters so I took the class on my own. It was a big culture shock to me. A nightmare.
A class full of 'ah bengs' & 'ah lians' whom I wish to cane & kick & throw dusters at. They ignored my presence almost totally. When I was writing on the board, some walked around freely, a couple of them opened the door to peep outside, the rest did their own things. Despite stern looks & tone, they weren't the least afraid and continued with their nonsense. Only a couple of them followed the lesson but they were lost most of the time due to all the distraction in class. I don't know how I managed to last thru the whole lesson.
The 2nd class was slightly better because the teacher has taught that group of bengs & lians for 3 years. But she also lost her temper & scolded some bengs for misbehavior. She used threats & sarcasm on some but it was only effective in keeping them quiet for 5 minutes. When I saw how she handled the class, I admired her ways of doing it. And when I think of how many years she's been teaching them, I salute her in my mind.
Compared to the monsters above, those little rascals in the Jap school whom I used to complain about seem like angels to me now. I believe many of the monsters come from broken families or have parents who are too busy to care or they mixed with the wrong people. The lecturer at the training workshop told us to 'love them' and when they like you, they will listen to you. I really can't make myself like them. I only see myself hitting their head & faces with a stick repeatedly with force now. It's like I want to kill them.
I've had those murderous visions when I first started out teaching a P3 class in the Jap school. And also when I had an irritating P5 boy the following year. However those kids usually responded to my stern warnings after some time. Plus there are usually only 1-2 such rascals in each class. Now we're talking about 30 monsters in a class of 35 humans.
I usually don't think of quitting after a day of work. Now I do. I can persevere on for a few months, but few years is impossible. Almost all the teachers tell me not to be too friendly with these students. They said I need to be stern until I build a rapport with them. But looking at the teacher in my 2nd class, having a rapport still required stern scoldings. I don't want to feel like I'm going for a battle everyday. I don't want to put on a fierce front and get angry everyday. I feel I'm not cut out for such battles. Although I want to teach & nurture the young, I'm not capable enough to handle monsters.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Proposal styles
Yesterday my 2 girlfriends and I met up for lunch & kopi in town. It was a session to catch up on what's happening in our lives coz we've not met up together for almost a year after 1 of them went overseas for studies.
At our age, love & marriage is a regular topic among us. This round we talked about how my friend's colleague took leave to apply for a flat without a marriage proposal and is still expecting one. My friend's reaction was "to apply for a flat means to marry leh, that's like agreeing to his proposal lor". Her colleague replied that he asked her if she wants to apply for a flat and she agreed, but it doesn't represent a marriage proposal. But my friend disagreed coz you have to show your marriage cert within 3 mths upon getting a flat, so agreeing to apply for a flat means agreeing to marry him, so that is a proposal already.
I think we are quite influenced by TV shows/movies/news on how guys propose marriage in romantic ways to that special girl. So we end up dreaming about how nice it would be if a guy propose to us in a romantic manner. However in reality, esp in S'pore, does it really happen? I've read in an article before about how S'porean guys propose. Many couples said there's no proposal, or rather the proposal is just popping the statement "let's apply for a flat" during a conversation.
So now the question is, "Is there a need to do a marriage proposal?"
Should the guy be asking "Will you marry me?" instead of "Want to apply for a flat?"
It may mean the same to some since the outcome for both is marriage, but we had a good discussion about its meaning & feelings behind the questions.
1 girlfriend said there's not really a need to propose coz the couple is already dating and will eventually marry, so a proposal is just something extra for the romantic effect. Without it they will still get married. Asking to apply for a flat is just the first step towards getting married.
My other girlfriend & I disagreed. We feel that the effort used in planning a proposal, from buying of ring/flowers to thinking of the venue and 'speech' lines shows how much the guy wants to be with the gal. It shows that although it's more or less confirmed she'll marry him even without a proposal, doing that extra step shows his sincerity & wish to want her to be with him forever. By missing that step, it's like taking for granted that she will marry him, that she is his already, with or without proposal. We feel the 'apply flat' issue should be discussed after she agrees to marry and not be the indirect proposal question.
I used to have the thinking that if both parties are in love and ready to marry, there is no need for a proposal. It's just for show, for the girl to boast about how romantic her bf was when proposing and also earn a stone. My thinking has since changed. Now I want the guy to pop me the question (Not the apply flat wan lah!!) when he's ready for marriage. And his proposal has to make me feel he truly wants to make me his wife and let me feel special and loved. Of coz I'll be thrilled to receive things I like along with the proposal, e.g flowers, soft-toys etc. Or a necklace or bracelet. A ring is not a must coz I don't really like rings though I don't have a choice if it's a wedding band!
At our age, love & marriage is a regular topic among us. This round we talked about how my friend's colleague took leave to apply for a flat without a marriage proposal and is still expecting one. My friend's reaction was "to apply for a flat means to marry leh, that's like agreeing to his proposal lor". Her colleague replied that he asked her if she wants to apply for a flat and she agreed, but it doesn't represent a marriage proposal. But my friend disagreed coz you have to show your marriage cert within 3 mths upon getting a flat, so agreeing to apply for a flat means agreeing to marry him, so that is a proposal already.
I think we are quite influenced by TV shows/movies/news on how guys propose marriage in romantic ways to that special girl. So we end up dreaming about how nice it would be if a guy propose to us in a romantic manner. However in reality, esp in S'pore, does it really happen? I've read in an article before about how S'porean guys propose. Many couples said there's no proposal, or rather the proposal is just popping the statement "let's apply for a flat" during a conversation.
So now the question is, "Is there a need to do a marriage proposal?"
Should the guy be asking "Will you marry me?" instead of "Want to apply for a flat?"
It may mean the same to some since the outcome for both is marriage, but we had a good discussion about its meaning & feelings behind the questions.
1 girlfriend said there's not really a need to propose coz the couple is already dating and will eventually marry, so a proposal is just something extra for the romantic effect. Without it they will still get married. Asking to apply for a flat is just the first step towards getting married.
My other girlfriend & I disagreed. We feel that the effort used in planning a proposal, from buying of ring/flowers to thinking of the venue and 'speech' lines shows how much the guy wants to be with the gal. It shows that although it's more or less confirmed she'll marry him even without a proposal, doing that extra step shows his sincerity & wish to want her to be with him forever. By missing that step, it's like taking for granted that she will marry him, that she is his already, with or without proposal. We feel the 'apply flat' issue should be discussed after she agrees to marry and not be the indirect proposal question.
I used to have the thinking that if both parties are in love and ready to marry, there is no need for a proposal. It's just for show, for the girl to boast about how romantic her bf was when proposing and also earn a stone. My thinking has since changed. Now I want the guy to pop me the question (Not the apply flat wan lah!!) when he's ready for marriage. And his proposal has to make me feel he truly wants to make me his wife and let me feel special and loved. Of coz I'll be thrilled to receive things I like along with the proposal, e.g flowers, soft-toys etc. Or a necklace or bracelet. A ring is not a must coz I don't really like rings though I don't have a choice if it's a wedding band!
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