Proposal styles

Yesterday my 2 girlfriends and I met up for lunch & kopi in town. It was a session to catch up on what's happening in our lives coz we've not met up together for almost a year after 1 of them went overseas for studies.

At our age, love & marriage is a regular topic among us. This round we talked about how my friend's colleague took leave to apply for a flat without a marriage proposal and is still expecting one. My friend's reaction was "to apply for a flat means to marry leh, that's like agreeing to his proposal lor". Her colleague replied that he asked her if she wants to apply for a flat and she agreed, but it doesn't represent a marriage proposal. But my friend disagreed coz you have to show your marriage cert within 3 mths upon getting a flat, so agreeing to apply for a flat means agreeing to marry him, so that is a proposal already.

I think we are quite influenced by TV shows/movies/news on how guys propose marriage in romantic ways to that special girl. So we end up dreaming about how nice it would be if a guy propose to us in a romantic manner. However in reality, esp in S'pore, does it really happen? I've read in an article before about how S'porean guys propose. Many couples said there's no proposal, or rather the proposal is just popping the statement "let's apply for a flat" during a conversation.

So now the question is, "Is there a need to do a marriage proposal?"

Should the guy be asking "Will you marry me?" instead of "Want to apply for a flat?"

It may mean the same to some since the outcome for both is marriage, but we had a good discussion about its meaning & feelings behind the questions.

1 girlfriend said there's not really a need to propose coz the couple is already dating and will eventually marry, so a proposal is just something extra for the romantic effect. Without it they will still get married. Asking to apply for a flat is just the first step towards getting married.

My other girlfriend & I disagreed. We feel that the effort used in planning a proposal, from buying of ring/flowers to thinking of the venue and 'speech' lines shows how much the guy wants to be with the gal. It shows that although it's more or less confirmed she'll marry him even without a proposal, doing that extra step shows his sincerity & wish to want her to be with him forever. By missing that step, it's like taking for granted that she will marry him, that she is his already, with or without proposal. We feel the 'apply flat' issue should be discussed after she agrees to marry and not be the indirect proposal question.

I used to have the thinking that if both parties are in love and ready to marry, there is no need for a proposal. It's just for show, for the girl to boast about how romantic her bf was when proposing and also earn a stone. My thinking has since changed. Now I want the guy to pop me the question (Not the apply flat wan lah!!) when he's ready for marriage. And his proposal has to make me feel he truly wants to make me his wife and let me feel special and loved. Of coz I'll be thrilled to receive things I like along with the proposal, e.g flowers, soft-toys etc. Or a necklace or bracelet. A ring is not a must coz I don't really like rings though I don't have a choice if it's a wedding band!