Quit?

I'm shocked by my lack of interest for my new job, and I'm only 3.5 days into it! I had thot of quitting on Day 2 ~ it just isn't what I'm looking for. No doubt it's a good learning ground, esp. in the use of Japanese language, but I simply can't feel any passion for what I am doing. Maybe I'm still too new into the job to understand exactly the “joys” of the job, but I already have a brief idea of what's it all about…Personnel consultant ~ sounds good huh?

My boss & colleagues kept selling to me the ideology that what we are doing isn't sales, not “selling” candidates to clients. Rather, we are helping people to find a job, helping clients to find employees. It sounds so good…as if we are contributing to the society, to the economy. Oh come on, no matter how good it sounds, it's still sales! I've been told that the boss doesn't bother with what we do at work, as long as we generate sales. There's no commission for sales. Our variable bonus will be tied to our sales instead. So you see ~ it's still a sales job after all…I knew right from the beginning that it's like this, but I wanted to give it a try, coz I'd be based at the local Japanese-speaking department. This means I'd be able to use Japanese at work. This is also a great opportunity to work with Japanese in an office environment & experience the Japanese working culture. As I do enjoy doing recruitment, this seemed like the perfect job. But after I started on the job, I realize that I really loved my previous job as a HR administrator.

Internal HR is really what I like doing. HR personnel are often the most “disliked” staff in a company, coz we know too much, and we are the ones who enforce rules ~ like an “Office police”. Yet our job allows us to be of support to employees occasionally. I especially like the part on building a relationship with the employees. I can do that with the candidates & client representatives for the consultant job too, but the feeling is different. There are so many candidates & the client representatives changes all the time, how to build a relationship? And we hardly meet as well. And I’m not surprised that at the end of the day, I just don’t want to have anything to do with neither of them & I become indifferent to everyone…

I miss those “tok cock” sessions I had with the technicians & office staff at my previous job. And I liked the multi-tasking environment tho it drove me nutz sometimes. There's no guarantee that the next HR job that I get will give me a similar environment that I was used to, but at least if I can do something I like, it should be ok I guess…

Another point that I realize why I'm not too keen on the consulting job is the lack of control I have over things. Being the middle person, I have no control over whether the candidate accepts the job, no control whether the client wants to hire the candidate. There's so much uncertainty, it just drives me crazy! And half the time I'd have to follow up on candidates/clients on progress ~ it just gets confusing after a while. This job's requirement/process is quite straight forward, build a database of candidates, source for candidates when orders come in, send to clients, arrange interviews if required, follow-up. If offered, do the negotiation. If not, re-do the process again. It becomes routine after a while tho the people we deal with changes.

I've spoken to the local senior consultant on my lack of interest on the job. She's very understanding, and encouraged me to stay on for a while more before I make a decision. However given my character, once I know that this isn't what I wish to do, I won't be able to commit to my job, esp. I know I won't be staying here for long. Poor job performance not only reflects badly on me, it affects the company's image as well. I prefer to leave early ~ no point wasting everyone's time & company resources.

Another reason why I wish to leave is the lack of chemistry between me & the Jap senior consultant that I'm partnering with. There're only 2 of us in the department. There's bound to be competition in future, esp. since candidates are limited for the orders we receive. She's a very nice lady, but I simply can't connect with her. It'd be difficult for us to work together. Such problems occur in all jobs… and it's just one of the many reasons why I'm dissatisfied at work.

I've spoken to my sister about it. She gave me the same advice I gave her previously: “If you are unhappy with what u are doing, leave. No point wasting your time & effort.” Told my friends I've no passion for my job… first they were surprised that I took up that job since they know I'm more into HR, next they felt that I've yet to settle down in Singapore fully. They are unaware that I plan to quit. Told my ex-neighbor in Japan who told me to do what I really want to do ~ she knows that my heart is on the ALT job. We only know each other for about 4 months, but she knows me well.

Another friend told me to give myself more time, maybe I'd grow to like the job. I'm really confused…Actually in my heart I know what I want to do. I had planned to hold a temporary/contract position while waiting for the outcome of the ALT application. I know chances of getting that ALT job is slim, but I still want to hold on to the hope of getting it. I can only fully concentrate on a permanent job after that. Holding a temp/contract position also meant that I have more freedom over my travel plans. I could apply for the work exchange program, or go backpacking when my contract ends… in short, I'm not ready to settle down in a permanent job yet.

I've been miserable since i started work on Monday. The excitement i felt for my job died by the end of the first day when i finally realise what i'm in for. I lost my appetite but could sleep well coz i drank, but end up with hangovers the next day, and find myself dragging myself out of bed to go to work... After i talked to the senior consultant, i end up even more troubled, coz talking to her sort of made me think through clearly what made me unhappy at work... and I felt i had to make a decision soon... i can't concentrate on anything else... sianz...