Duno if I’ve reached my limit of acting abilities, but I’m getting really quite tired staying here. I’ve no complaints about the lack of things to do coz I’ve my dear PC & internet to use. I download movies/anime to watch, take afternoon naps ~ it’s good life here! But the mental stress here is driving me nuts.
He’s not home for dinner most of the days, so it’s just me & his parents. They are very nice, but it’s very tiring for me to keep figuring out what they are asking & answer them. And it’s often the similar question “Do you have this dish in S’pore? Do you have this veg / fish in S’pore?” I know they’re curious, but it’s getting on my nerves…
I have the tendency to disappear into my own world & want to be left alone. However I guess good hospitality from his parents contradict with my character. His mother is always trying to make me feel comfortable, always chatting with me, asking me this & that. And a few times it’s marriage related: average marriage age, where they hope Teru will live after marriage, whether I’ve any Mr Right in S’pore etc… I think they hope he’d settle down soon. But tell me all these also no use. We’ve no concrete plans yet. He needs to pass his exams first.
Recently I’m feeling very tired & irritated by conversations here. And by the act I’ve to keep up with. Sometimes i want to sleep longer, but they wake up so early for breakfast, i'm pai-seh. And a few days ago i kena suan by his mother. She asked if i usually sleep 8 hours, waking up late. "Hello? Waking up at 8am is LATE? I'm not working! I wake early means i've more time to idle!! I might as well sleep longer!! " Of course i can't reply that, so i just smile. Btw, i don't sleep 8hrs a day. She assumed that i sleep at 12am+ after Teru comes home from work. The fact is, we watch movie till 2am! So it's only 6 hrs of sleep.
There’re things I don’t like to eat, but out of courtesy I just eat it, unless they ask me before serving whether I eat it, e.g. fermented beans (natto). However sometimes they forget that I don’t like certain things & kept making me eat/drink it. For example, I dislike coffee. I drink it only in times when I desperately need to keep awake. But they often make me drink it. How do I say no when it’s served to me?
They know I’m trying to lose weight. So any dairy products are out. Yet they make sure I have a glass of veg juice mixed with 100% fresh milk & yoghurt made from 100% fresh milk everyday. And snack time consisting of sweet stuff. Count the calories & fat from all that! It’s messing up my diet plans! Do I have to starve myself once I’m back to make up for all that I’ve put on? I’m now considering whether I should take my Herbalife diet pills. I brought it along, but it’s not convenient to eat it when there is always someone around. They disapprove of me eating little at meals, imagine how they’d react if they see me popping the diet pills…
Today I just don’t feel like talking to anyone at home, not even to Teru. I’m almost reaching my limit. I just want to retreat into my own world. Please leave me alone…
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